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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What to do ...

1 reply

tinyT09 · 23/01/2019 16:01

Anyone find right

It’s okay when your partner makes plans with his or her family / friends ... and we don’t butter a eyelid
But as soon as I had plans it’s a issue

Last week my mum asked me out but out my partner so it was just her and me and brother ... she got the arse then so I said I’m going out for few hours then I’ll be home ... ( she said nah you go I’ll see you next week ) so I thought what ever okay .. then changed her mind and said I’ll still come down don’t worry as I wasn’t giving her anything to argue back with...
anyways she ended up coming out with us anyways. But she made me feel guilty.

I wanted to go out Friday night with my mates have dinner and go for a quite drink , talk , catch up really
But when I said to my partner I’m going for dinner with she went ... so you can go for dinner with her but not me ( we always say we go for dinner but we always end up staying in )
Got the right hump .. so I cancelled it and lied to my mate and said I forgot I had to help my mum but I’ll meet you after 8 at the pub
( I gave no children so now I have no plans )

But now she saying I didn’t want you to cancel I was just stating the point , but my partner knows I would cancel to stop the arguments that could come with it. But she goes for dinner at her mates and goes out with family to London and all that like she’s busy busy busy all the time plans coming out of her arse

And today... I woke up in a shitty mood as didn’t sleep very well...
I went doctors came home and I thought right I’m going to have some me time while my son is sleeping so got puzzle out .. text after text so I lost my shit. Got her to leave me alone.
It started because I asked her to take time off work for one day so I could go to the hospital with my kids dad ( found out if his cancer has gone into his bones ) and I got why? So I explain. Then I got so your spending the day with him after then .. er no I’m going there and coming straight back home.
Anyways she said she will ask her boss today ( now it’s tomorrow) so I ask my mate ( who I’m seeing Friday if she wouldn’t mind to watch the kids for that day while I go .. she said yeah that’s cool ) now I’m on the dog house cuz I asked her :/ have I done anything wrong here I just wanted to sorted before I won’t be able to sort anything and I don’t want to miss it as it’s important.

Thanks for reading lol x

OP posts:
RagingWhoreBag · 23/01/2019 16:15

I think it’s probably a communication issue. Sounds like you’re both trying to score points and not being clear about what you want.

If you actually care about each other, drop all the passive aggressive “whatevers” and lying to your mate. Arrange dinners and nights out with your partner first and foremost, not with friends and family without your DP, then maybe they won’t feel so pissed off.

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