Best OLD sites

[TheShiteRunner]

Right. I'm taking the plunge.
Can't do tinder or anything that requires a photo because I'm relatively well known in certain circles (can't go into this without outing myself, but I'm not a member of the royal family or anything.) I'd prefer not to pay. I am on POF but aaaaargh.
(I've a feeling you're all going to tell me that I won't meet anyone halfway decent without a photo...)

None!! Full of weirdos and sociopaths from my experience.

Bumble is good. I can't imagine many will want to meet you with out a photo tbh, other than someone seeking an affair (they usually hide photos ime)

It's quite sad about the whole photo thing, isn't it? It's a shame we don't have a chat and all that first before swapping photos.

You see the same people on all the sites. OkCupid seems to be the one where a lot of my friends have met people to seriously date closely followed by Tinder.

You won’t get a lot of interest (except from men who message anyone and everyone because they just want sex) without a photo. It isn’t “a shame” it’s just that a) as much as we’d like it to not be the case, most people are as interested in physical attraction as much as personality and don’t want to waste their time messaging people only to find out that they really don’t find them attractive; and b) people assume that if you don’t want to show your face you’re in a relationship and don’t want anyone to find out you’re trying to cheat.

I like OK Cupid. Lots of traffic if you’re in a large town or city and the question-based algorithms help match you with likeminded people.

And to counteract all the people who I’m sure will say OLDing is full of freaks and time wasters: I have never had a bad experience OLDing - not one. I like dating and have met and stayed in touch with some great men, as well as plenty who were perfectly lovely but we just didn’t click. It’s not always a total waste of time!

Another vote for okcupid here. Spent 4 months using several websites (okc, match and eharmony). Had some lovely dates, 1 fwb fling, and no bad experiences at all. Then met my partner of now 4 years on okcupid. Agree with a pp that the matching rhythms work on there and my best dates were from people on there. My partner and I were a 97% match and it turned out to be 100% accurate. Good luck!

Oh and you definitely need a picture.

You need a photo otherwise you're going to be overlooked. There's hundreds of profiles of other women, so why would someone message a blank picture?
They will think you have something to hide or that you aren't genuine.
I think the same characters pop up on all the dating sites, but for what it's worth I met my husband on POF.

I think it’d be really hard without photos.

I met my boyfriend on tinder.

I met my DH on Guardian Soulmates.
But agree you'll need a photo.

Why don’t you pop on a wig, and sun glasses, and upload that pic. What a pleasant surprise for someone to see you in the flesh without glasses etc. I don’t mean look as though you’re under cover, just like a pic taken on a sunny day from an angle.
People can always ask if it’s you, and you can just say ‘ don’t be ridiculous’ It’s nobody’s business anyway.
If my friend denied being on dating website, I’d completely understand.
The disguise thing is a good idea, just as long as you’re not misleading anyone, ie 7 ft tall, Brazilian, yet really you’re 2ft and severely anaemic