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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

No libido

7 replies

Bethanyg25 · 12/01/2019 20:06

So I had a baby 5 months ago now and I still have no desire what so ever to have sex with my oh. Before baby was born we were pretty regular but now we do it about twice a week and that’s only because I feel sorry for him. I am breast feeding so I no that can be a factor but I would have thought by now I’d be feeling back to normal? Also whenever we do get round to it I just can’t seem to get ‘there’ Blush please tell me this is normal!

OP posts:
Hopoindown31 · 12/01/2019 20:10

It can be normal at this stage when you are bf. The important thing is are you talking about this with your partner? Have you spoken to a healthcare professional.

OnMyWhistle · 12/01/2019 20:15

Twice a week is regular though isn’t it? Sounds normal to me

CheggarsPlaysPlop · 12/01/2019 20:18

Wow - absolutely normal! Your body has been through major changes..hormones are everywhere. You are probably exhausted. Progesterone is ruling (libido killer). Twice a week is plenty with a new baby. Struggling to climax is also perfectly normal. Tiredness impacts and your physiology changes. You really should not be making yourself have sex with him even though you dont want to. Please be honest with him. Hopefully he can give you a break. Intimacy doesn't have to be penetrative sex

Original poster
Bethanyg25 · 12/01/2019 20:46

This is what I was hoping to hear thanks everyone. Haven’t spoken to anyone about it but I have told him I’m struggling to get in the mood. I shall put it down to breastfeeding and tiredness for now then. Definitely exhausted as baby is waking 6 times a night sometimes Sad

OP posts:
Willow4987 · 12/01/2019 22:24

Op you’ve got nothing to worry about....my LO is 5 months and we still havent had sex at all! my poor DH has actually been waiting since we found out I was pregnant Blush but I just can’t face it after birth trauma, baby waking/exhaustion and still being in our bedroom

Justaboy · 12/01/2019 22:31

Blimey twice a week under those circumstances!, he's a lucky man if it were once a week that would be good going!

I'm afraid that most all men are either never taught, never learn from anyone that the other half once having had a babe sex isn't on her mind that much if at all;!

His urges are stil there though and it all can be rather difficult for all concerned.

Scott72 · 13/01/2019 00:03

Any bloke who spends even a few minutes reading any sort of advice on this should realize sex is going to be off the table for up to a year after childbirth. If her libido is still zero after a year though then that might be time to start looking into it.

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