If you have 50:50 custody...

[CodLiverOil556]

Please can you tell me how it works? I've just split with my h and we're struggling with the 2 children but defo want to 50:50.

For the past ten years, it's been 3 days on, 3 days off. The oldest was 3, and youngest was 9 months when it started like that, so haven't really known any different. Every Christmas, I have them Christmas Eve until between 12-3pm depending on what plans their father has, and alternate new year's eve off. I understand that this may not work for everyone, but it has for us, for many different reasons. It helps if things are amicable, but it hasn't always been that way in our situation. Holiday wise, they stay full time with the other parent if the other parent have their own holidays, but both children also have two holidays a year, one with each parent. Communication is always the key, which I know in many circumstances, for many different reasons, is not possible. Hope you find an outcome what is best for you all.

XH has our DCs on Monday and Tuesday nights. I have then on Wednesday and Thursday nights. We alternate Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights.

It works well for us. The main advantages are that it’s a fixed routine so the DCs always know where they’re going to be each night, that neither parent goes more than 5 nights away from the DCs, and by having fixed weekday nights we can plan (so when it was really important to me that the DCs has swimming lessons, I arranged them for Wednesday nights).

The things that make it work are living close to each other, an amicable relationship between XH and me, and the DCs having everything they need at each of our houses.

I was worried at first that the DCs wouldn’t feel like they have a true home, but they say they feel that they have two equal homes.

I do 60:40 more or less with my ex. He has them every Thursday and Friday and every other weekend. So the weekend he has them he takes them to school then I pick them up. Holidays we are a bit more flexible because where I live they get three month for summer! I work from home and he hardly works so sometimes he picks up the slack for me or vice versa. They have activities on a Monday and Wednesday (football) and martial arts on a Thursday with him. I also live close to their school and eldest finishes at 1 pm three days a week (I live overseas) so he comes back to me and then his dad picks him up when the youngest finishes at 5. I thinking’s they’re older though they’ll want to be with me more, or we got to one week o one week off. We will see how things go.

Sounds easy, but sometimes it throws up some issues but generally we try to be flexible for the kids as well as us.