How do people seperate?!!!

[Randomsunshineovermull]

I just don’t see how people do it, our marriage is over, the house will go on the market in the new year but in the meantime how do people live together? We can’t afford to rent a second home, he’s being an absolute arse as he doesn’t want to seperate and making a mess being obnoxious. The only option I can think of is to move to my parents the other side of the country but that really isn’t what’s best for the kids (4 and 7).

Have you worked out how much tax credits you will get if you decide to move out and rent? You can look on entitledto website. It might be tight but you might be able to do it temporarily while your house is sorted.

That would only work if your STBXH can pay the mortgage on his own. You are legally obliged to pay half the mortgage, whether you live there or not.
When I separated, my ex moved out because I could afford the mortgage on my own until it sold.
If neither of you can afford it on your own, you are just going to have to grin and bear it until the house sells. Try to set some ground rules and don't do any cooking or washing for him.

We could afford it if he moved out - but he won’t, but if I move out then because I own another property I’m not living in then I can’t make it work 😞

I’m not cooking or doing his washing, problem is he’s cooking and then not tidying up after himself 😞

I'm in the same position. We are getting divorced. It's rather acrimonious. I have nowhere to go (plus two small kids) as I'm not from UK originally. He won't let me take the kids back to my country. I've been SAHM and due to not working and financial abuse I have no funds. We still live in a family home - 50-square-meter flatand it's bloody awful. I stopped cooking for him and doing his laundry. But he leaves horrible mess everywhere and I end up having to clean up as I cannot live in a pigsty. And to be honest, that is thd least of my problems with him at the moment. It's a living hell. I can't stand him. I can't stand his smell. I don't have any advice, I just try to put up with it as I know that finally there will be the end to all this horror.

Go all student on him!!

Leave his dishes there. Or dump them in his room.

Buy a cheap set of dishes that you can use and keep them in your room.

The problem is, when there are kids in the house you have to try and keep things as calm as possible. I would keep the house clean for them even if you have to suck up cleaning his dishes. Just don’t wash his clothes or cook. Unfortunately you have to rise above it and be the bigger person.
Get the house on the market straight after new year (or sooner) and drop the price for a quick sale if you have to.