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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

husband left me on a mess

3 replies

chumpchops1 · 17/12/2018 12:05

1st September my world collapsed we had been out all day as a family got home and my husband walked and left me said he will always love me but doesn't love me. we have been together 12 years married 7. he is step dad to my 2 kids and I am step mum to his daughter. last year he briefly left me for 3 days after he got into a close friendship with a colleague. always round her house visiting her kids in hospital etc. he came back and they lost contact as she wanted more. things were fine up until March this year when again he started going round another colleagues house spending more time with her. going out with her family I even at one point had a note left on my car saying he was having an affair with her then I had a lady follow me and my kids round town telling me he was. financially I was the bread winner working 60 plus hours a week. he had a zero hour contact at work looked after kids. put fuel in car paid shopping. etc. I paid everything. all the loans credit cards hp rtf in my name as his credit is shocking. he won't tell me where he is living all I know is it's a mates house (not the friends house) he won't pay anything towards our rent the bills etc. I am completely heartbroken this has happened.

OP posts:
Mousetolioness · 17/12/2018 14:11

I am so sorry you find yourself in this situation. In the long run you'll be better off without that sorry excuse for a husband but in the short term you're having to get your head around and come to terms with his cowardly actions and the fallout.

BackInTheRoom · 19/12/2018 19:35

Gosh. You need to google 'Chumplady' and get reading about his behaviour. It's awful and many people are in, or have been in your shoes. He's showing a lack of empathy and massive entitlement. Take one hour/day at a time, try to eat something everyday and reach out to people in real life 💐

SandyY2K · 19/12/2018 19:40

He sounds more like a liability than a DH. Be glad you don't have children together...as it seems he keeps looking to replace you.

He's had 2 affairs...which you minimise as getting close.

Ask when he's filing for divorce and sort out the practical aspects of separation.

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