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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Can a single action define a person character?

9 replies

Eternallycurious · 18/10/2018 18:04

I believe a good friend of mine is attracted to a narcissist. Several years ago he began to date her- not saying he was married. Then one date night he revealed he was and also had a baby on the way but tried to sleep with her in a room that had a pic of his wife and a baby information book on the floor. She cut contact but years later they are back in communication. He's now implying he's a single dad. But did things suggesting he isn't. I've told her to stay away as he is a narcissist but she says I don't have enough evidence. So my question is can a piece of behaviour enacted several years ago actually define who a person is? What he did years ago was so cold and callous I can't see how he can not have a high degree of narcissism.

Have you ever seen someone do one defining thing and thought 'that person is X' and were you right?

OP posts:
DieAntword · 18/10/2018 18:06

I don’t think it helps to diagnose people. Utter fuckwit is good enough for me.

Purpleisthenewblue1 · 18/10/2018 18:10

A lot of it is just the man not being very bright. Found this out over the years some of it is an intelligence thing rather than being a narc. They just don’t think ... or with something else Grin

mimibunz · 18/10/2018 18:13

He doesn’t need an official diagnosis when cheating arsehole will do.

Vitalogy · 18/10/2018 18:16

Second chances. Does everyone deserve one. I would hope I could.

It's her life. Let her live it.

Eternallycurious · 18/10/2018 18:20

I agree he is a cheater and not a nice guy. But if he cheated once because he was being an idiot it's different thing from being a narcissist. As a person who has made a mistake - he's less likely to do it again. But as a narcissist - he will have an inbuilt propensity to do it again. Therefore it's not just a mistake.

OP posts:
Seniorschoolmum · 18/10/2018 18:27

In my experience, once a lying git, always a lying git.

But it’s her life

dirtybadger · 18/10/2018 18:27

Evidence he's lying or a narcissist? He sounds like a liar and a cheat but nothing sounds pathological.

HumptyNumptyNooNoo · 18/10/2018 18:29

Sadly the fact that your friend is even considering going there again defines her as stupid .

Eternallycurious · 18/10/2018 19:20

Well I guess many women have been blinded by men before she's not the first.....just wanna make her see

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