It started off as a bit of an argument, but then we started to talk,
Dp has been 'fedup' for a long time and he told me something that just hurt so much.
Long story but about 4 years ago (when i was only 18 - had been with DP for 2 years at that point) I kind of 'broke up' with him and went off with this boy. I had never drank, never been to a party ect and wanted to see what that life was like,
so i travelled to Bedfordshire and stayed there at new years eve.
I didnt fancy this boy at all, he was my frien (the only one I had apart from DP) but we did kiss (the thought of it now makes me feel sick as i didnt fancy him at all and i was just being disgusting)
anyways DP was ringing and ringing and as i was pissed off i wasnt answring.
basically i was pissed for the first time EVER and fell asleep in a bed with this lad (nothing happened)
I came home the next day.
so last night DP told me that both THE LAD i was friends with and THE PEOPLE I WERE 'SOCALLED FRIENDS WITH' at that time had told DP that i has had sex with this lad.
And for the past 4 YEARS DP has thought that!!
I asked him why he never asked me ... and he said he just thought it was true and it hurt sooo much that he just put it to the back of his mind and couldn't bear to even say it out loud!!
We have been together 7 years and we have never been apart - exept those 2 nights.
I know i was only young, ect
its just the thougth that for the last 4 years DP has had these demons in his head, this barrier between us - and its never happened.
I dont know why im posting this it has just floored me that hes thought this for so long and never said
maybe this has been an underlying probelm i never knew about.
fuck.
its just crazy