Online Dating

[Danpitt]

Hi all, I've been single for just over five years and have been trying to meet someone through dating sites for almost four years but with no joy.
When people hear this they automatically think I'm a player or someone who must have something wrong with them.

I'm an honest genuine guy who like everyone just wants someone to grow old and enjoy life with.

Do people purely base what they want now on a photo or do they read the profile?
Is it time to give up trying to meet someone or should I hold out?

What do women look for in a man these days?

They look for kindness I reckon. Confidence but not arrogance. Reasonable intelligence (can spell which you seem to be able to!). Respect of women. Lots of different things

It can be really baffling not knowing if it’s your profile or pictures

Make sure you have flattering photos - not selfies in a mirror with bad lighting or group photos, you half naked or clearly in your van at work!

It is getting a balance for profile and photos that is lighthearted enough to come across as easy going and entertaining but not a foolish idiot and at least some depth to it

It’s also a numbers game. Women can get 100 likes or swipes a week or whatever but men do seem to have to work harder which doesn’t seem fair I know

Read people’s profiles properly and send them a message that references it to show you have read it. You need to really keep on liking and swiping and messaging - like I said its a numbers game. Out of 100 women some will reply!

Someone could have the best profile in the world but without a photo I’m just going to assume they’re married.

Someone could have a great photo but without any bio I’m going to assume they really can’t be bothered.

I think the photos you choose say a lot of about how you wish to present yourself to the world. Photos in far flung locations don’t interest me, because as a woman with children, I won’t be dropping everything to join you on your next worldwide adventure. Likewise, photos with pints, in pubs or clubs.

It’s all subjective though and might float some other woman’s boat.

"I'm an honest genuine guy who like everyone just wants someone to grow old and enjoy life with."

I think this is part of your error, OP. Not everyone wants or needs this. As a PP wrote, every woman is different.

Fwiw, I see someone saying they are "honest and genuine" as a red flag. Immediately. Honesty and genuineness don't announce themselves; they just are.

I'm also not interested in someone who pits their profile around what they want or need in someone else. I want to see a fully rounded person who has their own pursuits.

I like someone who is irreverent, funny: their profile can't just merge into all the other samey-samey profiles that are out there. There is a generic-ness to many profiles that feels so bland as to suggest you're not really getting a taste of the other person at all! I'd prefer a profile to be quirky, because it's probably more reflective of the truth.

"Bland and generic" offer plenty of places to hide.

I have just started a blog about my online dating experience so far. Is it OK to put a link to it? I thought I'd release a chapter a week.

cjustc.wordpress.com/2018/09/05/frog-kissing-for-beginners-a-how-not-to-guide-to-internet-dating/

I looked for someone with a great sense of humour, was caring and loving. I got all of these and more! Never done old before my fiancé and he was my first date on old. I had a lot of interest but nothing stood out about the others. My fiancé was intriguing and interesting to me. I think I just got very very lucky!