Infidelity

[Steve42]

Can a relationship work after your partner has cheated ?

I didn’t notice what was happening because as partners she was allowed every freedom to pursue her hobbies . I don’t own her . She had trained with this guy before this happened and he knew where she lives she had just told him we weren’t together anymore and was looking for somewhere to move while she stayed at our home . He didn’t question it and I just thought she was training . I didn’t see it coming at all . She didn’t sleep with him after I found the messages but she did meet with him to stop him turning up at the house to see why she hadn’t been in touch and then I’d find out they were more than emotional .

My dad was a serial cheater and my mother chose to stay. They also had a very hot relationship between them and deep love. I’ll never understand why she tolerated it or how they worked it all out but they did.

I realise that doesn’t answer your question but plenty of marriages get through infidelity and some emerge stronger. I guess it depends on the issues and context.

You seem convinced to stay with her OP despite a lot of advice saying otherwise from people who have been there in your shoes , no two relationships are the same but you can kinda see patterns . This was a thought out affair by her that was only found out when you saw her phone otherwise you would be completely in the dark. Since then she has been to see him again and further lied to you, I don’t think she anyway near as committed to the relationship as you are but it’s your decision to make.
I’m sorry that you’ve been betrayed and wish you the best for the future

Also no sex for a year? No guy or woman is going to stay in that relationship realistically. Be honest with yourself.

I could maybe, and it's a big maybe, forgive a drunken one night stand, but a one year relationship, I just couldn't do it. She is a liar, and a bloody good one it seems. No one can tell you what to do, but I would walk.

She didn’t sleep with him after I found the messages but she did meet with him to stop him turning up at the house to see why she hadn’t been in touch and then I’d find out they were more than emotional

Why would you believe this? It’s coming from the mouth of a proven liar and cheat who doesn’t respect you. Why would she tell the truth?

Think logically for a second.