ExP shouted completely inappropriately at DD (5) who was asking for food several times (he was busy doing something else) and shouted "YES" at the top of his voice in a terrifying way at her because she didn't hear the first time when he said "yes" in a distracted manner. So loudly it was like a rage voice, terrifying, rang through the whole house and poor DD cried so much.
Although exP is prone to going off the handle at me (especially when he feels under pressure due to his MH condition) and not behaving perfectly towards DD (a bit jekyll and hydey but never to this level) he's never shouted at her quite in that way before. I was shocked.
All contact is at my house because exP is useless, MH issues (doesn't work or support us), can't be relied upon to do proper childcare because of his own MH issues.
The thing is I rely on the support I have no family nearby and need to do my own work to support me and DD. I rely on what little support I have, or I get completely swamped with work etc.
I just worry about DD being around this volatile character. DD loves her dad and I don't want to cut contact completely. But I can't risk his strange habits (OCD etc, lack of self care) rubbing off on her any more. Nor can I deal with his temperament.
I am not sure what to do. He's always directed it at me and also denies inappropriate behaviour saying I am the one who is out of order (gaslighting?) for challenging him. Complete denial. After the incident later when things have calmed he will be nice as pie.
I need to cut down contact. I just wondered on some other perspectives on similar situations whereby an ex was inappropriate with the kids with his temper and how you dealt with cutting contact. I am wondering if only supervised minimal contact needs to occur?
Thoughts very welcome.