Hi ladies/men,
I’m new here, I’ve read previous posts and found them helpful and thought I’d join and share my problems if that’s ok.
I don’t have children either so I hope that is also ok.
I am 30 years old and my partner is 47, he has 2 grown up children who I get on very well with.
When we got together I was this young pretty bubbly person with a huge personality I lived on my own with my cat and was proud of what I’d achieved alone.
I have been with my bf for 5 years now and over that time I’ve changed into a scared quivering mess. I’m not too sure how or when it happened but now I’m at the point where my whole life is solely dependent on him.
This relationship has been very damaging and I’m continually told how shit I am and how crap I make everything and how he could have any bird he wanted. I literally can’t remember the last time he complimented me or made me feel secure. Even today I got up and went to work at 7am and got a text around 9 telling me how shit I am coz I dropped a hair clip on the floor and he stood on it, my whole week will be miserable for this error now. I get the blame for everything. Even things I don’t do. A couple of years back he thought I had used my vibrator coz apparently it wasn’t in the same spot in the drawer as before. I actually didn’t use it but ended up saying I had and throwing it away for him. He says I say things that I really don’t think I do, he tells me what I’m thinking all the time, if I raise a problem it’s always because I’m a shit gf. I know that everything is so unatural and not love but I have a major problem. I stopped working coz he insisted I stay at home (not to have children-apparently I’d make a terrible mother 😔) I have no money basically. I finally got the courage to get a job but its very small hours and with the constant threat of being thrown out and him taking my car (I need it for work) I never know if I’m going to make it into work so it’s all so insecure.
As I write this tears stream down my face. I am a totally broken women I have no one who can help me or get me out of this. When I look for help I can only find help for women with children.
Is there anything I can do without being homeless?
Sorry for the long post!