Posted about this in another thread but just want to rant to be honest about my own stupidity.
Just can't seem to be able to leave my partner. Been with him for a few years and it was great at first, he treated me nicely, we had lots of dates, got to know each other. We took it very slow because of issues I've had in a previous relationship, but it worked for us.
But then I guess gradually the real him started to show. He's quite obnoxious and full of himself, loves praising himself although kind of in a jokey way, but always says things like 'you're so lucky to have me', 'other women would throw themselves at me if they saw me with nothing on', and I usually just laugh at him, but it's starting to annoy me. He's quick to praise himself, nothing about him is wrong, but there's never any nice comments about me. He will generally only say comments via text, and he says it's because he's not good at displaying emotion. I could understand that, if he wasn't so quick to point out my flaws. He calls me crazy on a daily basis, says I am over reacting and being stupid if we have an argument. He never gives me a compliment without me having to ask for it. He changes facts in arguments all the time too, like he'll swear blind he didn't say something when I know he did.
We recently went out somewhere and he pissed me off the entire night, basically ruined it. He would not stop asking 5 mins before the show started if I needed the toilet. It annoys me if I get asked something repeatedly, I gave you an answer, listen to it. It's not a difficult response to remember, it was no. I told him to drop it, then he started bothering me about other things. Repeatedly told him the answer and he kept going on and on so I snapped at him with 'listen to me it's no' and he was like 'jesus no need to be moody I'm only asking'. Ask once you moron and listen to the fucking answer!
Then after the show we were outside and he lit a cigarette and managed to drop some of the ash on my arm which hurt and burnt me. I yelled at him to watch what he was doing, I mean he was stood over me while I sat down. He said sorry but then when I told him to watch what he was doing he told me to stop over reacting. This is not the first time he's dropped ash on me, starting to make me wonder if he is just that fucking stupid (probably from all his time spent smoking weed when younger although he swears it had no effect on him) or he is actually trying to hurt me. Hoping the first one, he is a dumbass at times despite calling me stupid.
I am stupid though, because I stay with him. Because I hope that at some point he might be one who he was when I first met him. My parents love him and think he's great, and he behaves nicely around them, although does call me crazy in front of them, but they think it's a term of endearment. Maybe it's meant to be, but all it's doing is driving me crazy. I have tried to end it a few times and he manages to talk me round. I don't want to be this miserable though my whole life, feel like he is making me depressed. My ex did the same thing to me and I eventually managed to get him to leave me alone. But I can't with this one, not yet at least. I don't even feel attracted to him anymore. Used to be a lot, but all of this negativity is horrible. There is nothing positive ever said about me from him.