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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Dirty-tinder

29 replies

Katgurl · 27/07/2018 09:55

POST EDITED BY MNHQ TO REMOVE LINK

Does anyone know anything about Dirty Tinder? I can't giew it here. Reviews seem to suggest it is a hook-up site.

Is there any innocent reason it could be repeatedly in web browser history?

I have no problem with porn but dating site chatting online, sexting, pic swapping with actual people are a deal breaker for me.

OP posts:

NotSoThinLizzy · 27/07/2018 10:01

It's swapping pics website through Snapchat. 😢 who's been going on it?

Original poster

Katgurl · 27/07/2018 10:05

My DP :(

Could it be appearing through pop-ups or is he definitely going onto it do you know?

OP posts:

yetmorecrap · 27/07/2018 10:10

It has been a constant pop up on one of the big sites in the last 6 weeks , it also sent a message through that shows in messages and you can’t see what it is, if they click on the message box to see what it is, it will then show repeatedly in history

behindcloseddoors · 27/07/2018 10:16

How many times is it repeated? Can you follow the link?

Original poster

Katgurl · 27/07/2018 10:41

It's about three months ago and maybe 12 times in total? I was a bit rushed, I felt sick and panicked. There were loads of links immediately afterwards that didn't have distinguishable titles. I should have clicked on them. I guess I was afraid of what I would find.

The reason I was looking at browsing history is not glowing. I had been getting an email and saw match.com emails. He was OLD before we met so no problem there. But notifications coming for almost a year after we met (and were exclusive) and then a confirmation of account deactivation for that and POF. I was saying to myself it waa just an oversight, he hadn't got round to sorting it out so I went to browsing history but got distracted by dirty-tinder from this year. There is also another site visited that says dating - sex and flirting that I clicked into and it started asking questions like choose a breast size but then I stopped. Thst site only appeared once so quite plausible he just clicked into it from an ad.

The main reason I stopped looking with them is I have no objection to porn but I don't want to know details of what he's looking up or anything. I'm prone to green eyed monster snd know I could easily be driving myself mad wondering why he only looks at blondes or women twenty years younger or whatever.

But if he's chatting or doing anything like that then I want nothing to do with him.

OP posts:

Shoxfordian · 27/07/2018 10:44

It sounds like he's chatting to other women
He didn't deactivate his online dating site because he was still using it. Don't be naive, can you really trust him?

NotSoThinLizzy · 27/07/2018 10:44

If it's a pop up from porn site then on history it'll be straight after said porn site. The link if you follow it all the way through puts you into a chat room of "ladies " looking for sex

W1neNot · 27/07/2018 10:51

Do you trust him? In your heart of hearts, is this something you can imagine him doing or is it a bolt from the blue and until now you've not had the slightest suspicion of anything untoward?

Original poster

Katgurl · 27/07/2018 10:53

I do trust him.

OP posts:

Original poster

Katgurl · 27/07/2018 10:57

Well i did.

OP posts:

W1neNot · 27/07/2018 10:57

Then speak to him. He's the only one who can answers you really - all we can do here is speculate.

W1neNot · 27/07/2018 10:58

Also decide what your line in the sand is. What's acceptable to you?

booboo24 · 27/07/2018 11:18

I don't know about dirty tinder, however I had hell's delight closing my Match about and still now get the occasional spam email 4 years later. I wouldn't be too hasty here. I also get the most ridiculous spam emails too. I would investigate certainly but I wouldn't condemn him yet

Original poster

Katgurl · 27/07/2018 11:41

Booboo I did read that about match. And in his history I saw he had been onto the website a few times aroudn the same date he deactivated and one of the pages was the help page. I didn't look to see if hed been logging on the previous 8 months though. I got distracted by the newer stuff. I have been guilty of leaving dating profiles up in the past, never ever going near it and even paying for them while in previous relationships so it's definitely possible.

It's just the combination of stuff has me upset.

OP posts:

Original poster

Katgurl · 27/07/2018 20:15

So I spoke to him. He seemed completely bewildered about the match.com stuff and said he never paid any attention to notification emails, he had a year long account and he never logged in or bothered with it since we got together. It actually was eight months after we met not a year so I guess that is plausible. Thoughts?

Re the hookup site he seemed to have no idea whatsoever what I was on about. It seemes genuine. He pulled up his browsing history and said it always coincided with him being on an illegal movie download site and it must be spam along with gambling pop-ups. He seemed really sincere and said he wasn't going to delete anything from his history and I could look through it all later and click into anything I wanted. He was really kind and reassuring.

I don't know. I still feel upset. I couldn't sleep last night and I'm pregnant and due in two weeks.

Do I sound like I'm just getting myself worked up?

OP posts:

Sugarplumps · 27/07/2018 20:49

I think you're getting yourself worked up over pop ups. I wish I could help more! If he was calm and bewildered and invited you to look at anything then I would relax. Please enjoy your last few weeks before your baby comes and don't let this cause a rift.

bobstersmum · 27/07/2018 20:58

I think I'd believe him! It's awful being heavily pregnant op try and relax, I'm sure he's not upto anything!

MNHQ

LouMumsnet · 27/07/2018 21:33

Evening all. OP, hope you don't mind but we've edited the link out of your post to avoid folk accidentally clicking on something they're not prepared to see! Hope that makes sense and that you get some useful advice on the thread.

bethy15 · 27/07/2018 21:38

I would maybe take him at his word.

I live stream tennis sometimes and the pop ups are awful and they sometimes come up as autofill on my browser and I wondered when on earth I visited those awful sites!

RubyRR · 27/07/2018 21:48

I tried watching s programme talked about on here I wanted to watch on US time rather than wait for the episodes here. Dirty tinder was a pop up on there I commented on it at the time as I’d never heard of it there were so many pop ups it sounds feasible to me and I’m usually suspicious!

Shoxfordian · 27/07/2018 22:01

Mm using a site called dirty tinder is just the same as watching Wimbledon

He's defended himself adequately for now then until next time?

Original poster

Katgurl · 27/07/2018 22:01

Ok thanks everyone so much

OP posts:

Hidingtonothing · 28/07/2018 00:00

I would be hugely reassured by his reaction OP, most people would be defensive if 'guilty' so kind and reassuring sounds positive to me. Pop ups seem a believable explanation to me too fwiw, hope your mind is at rest

LisaNo · 03/12/2018 12:25

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

AHeartAPenny · 03/12/2018 12:31

We stream a lot of our TV illegally (we do have Netflix and Amazon Prime but some of the shows we want to watch aren't on there). The majority of the pop-up ads are "MILFS in your area are looking for fun!", "Get your submissive foreign brides here!" etc, and they often run in the background rather than actually "popping up", so you won't necessarily know they're there.
He should get a decent adblocker installed though. It doesn't eliminate them completely, but significantly reduces them.

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