But what is he trying to say?

[FlowerPower66]

I just want some guidance and reassurance really.

Been in contact with a man since December speak often up to each day sometimes and met on many occasions, however I wanted to know where we were going as we live 44 miles away from each other so I said that line 'so where are we going with this?' I wanted it to sound better than that but I grabbed the opportunity as it felt right as we were face to face.

He said 'I want a relationship but scare of anyone leaving him suddenly again' obviously we are still talking and nothing has changed but how and when do I re visit the subject?

Any advice is welcome thank you xx

You do the dignified thing and walk away. Leave him to his own devices, suggest that he takes some time to sort his head out, and then (and only then) you can maybe revisit the situation in future - if you're still available/interested, that is.

Sorry OP, but to me it sounds like he is stringing you along. And even if 100% genuine, he is clearly not in the right headspace for a relationship right now. If you did embark on something, he would only bring those old issues with him, and that's hardly the best start.

Oh, and a 44 mile distance would be nothing for the right person.

Honestly OP, if he was at all into you, he'd be keen to hang on to you. Sorry

Another here who thinks he's enjoying the attention and regular sex etc etc but doesn't actually want to commit, sorry

He’s making excuses. He’s not interested

Sorry to say but I think if it was going to go anywhere it would have done.
I would gracefully walk away and say you need to be with someone who is ready for a relationship