help!

[lenaconnors1]

ok so married 5 year with 2 dc. dd-3 ds23m. first year of marriage was lovley, 2nd ok.. 3rd okish, this 4th year a living hell!! we used to be so close with occasional arguments now we hardly chat when we do its usually bad words.. minor arguments nearly every day. he doesnt kiss me anymore(rarely) some morning will get odd cuddles night time the back gets turned. we rarely have sex anymore. aibu? we have been through alot 6 months ago but seem over it now - none of our faults. before this we would cuddle everynight. kiss alot. sex atleast once a day. ????

im 21, with 2 dc to him. of corse i love him but at the same time there is a hate for him... i really just keep thinking am i wasting years that i cant get back with him, or will it get better? im a very nervous person and my heart pounds out my chest thinking of finishing it!?!?

advice anyone??

Do you go on dates have time away from children ?

What are the arguments about are they arguments or just bickering

Have you sat down and discussed the lack of affection ?

we never have dates away from the children, im with the children for 24hrs he works 9-5ish, when he comes home he showers/reads/chats the the men so barely sees them..

the arguments are about this although not really arguing just me having a go really and tried to talk to him numerous times its always 'im not having this coversation' or 'im going asleep'

last night was the trigger.. it was his birthday he said no cake, dd wanted to get him one so i did.. he got home she told him he looked and said oh then went out to the men, she sat up till 10pm waiting to give him the cake with candles in her eyes were closing and she was crying to give him it. rang him and he said ok. when i told him his daughter went asleep crying wanting to give you her card and cake he said ok-not bothered about it which i would have been heart broken! and walked straight past her un opened card and cake with the candles in ready to be lit. he opened his cards this morning and we lit the cake this morning - only because i had a go at him!

please can anyone give me any kind of advice?!?!

He is an asshole, a very poor excuse for a husband, and a non-father.

OP, you're young. Leave him and start your life over. I have no alternative suggestions.

How long did you know him before you got married? If you're 21 now and have been married 5 years that means you got married at 16 right? I do not want to sound patronising but that's very young to be settling down and you have your whole life ahead of you. Maybe life's too short to spend with someone who doesn't make you happy..

Have you name changed op?

met him at 15.. married at 16 married 5 years in october.. i want to leave but at same time dont.. i do love him but i dont know why?! i love the old him, hes changed so much

yeah name changed

Oh, choco: don't love the man he no longer is. He's gone. Put that love somewhere far more productive: love yourself enough to want better for yourself.

Why have you named changed mid thread? Just curious. If you are worried about being outed maybe it would be better to ask for the thread to be deleted?

because im quite new to this and just found out how lol

Have you told him you have thought of leaving ? Are you communicating with him men are stupid and need to be told ?

ive told him, yesterday. its a big deal for me and i told him with tears in my eyes- from that he knew i was serious.. i told him how alone i feel-which he laughed of and thought i was joking?! but this morning there is slight change there from him

Give him a chance and give it your all be over loving and affectionate and after a while if it dosent work you have your answer !

yeah thats what i was thinking i got my period yesterdag sorry tmi, so wondering now was i over reacting but im going to try be extra nice for the next say month, and see how it goes