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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Married a compulsive Liar

8 replies

user4123 · 29/05/2018 22:19

Has anyone been or is married to a compulsive liar? If so how do you deal with it? I’ve told my DH that I think he needs to go to counselling or something as I’ve had enough of the lies. I don’t know why he does it! It’s always stupid things aswell!! It’s putting a wedge between us.

OP posts:

EleanorHooverbelt · 30/05/2018 09:14

Will your DH go to counselling? He should if she wants to change.

I suspect his behaviour lies in his childhood. Maybe it was dangerous for him to be honest growing up.

If he is otherwise a good guy and is willing to own his problem and work on it, there could be a chance. But if he doesn't change, you need to protect yourself. Life with a liar will drive you crazy. I speak from experience.

Notsleptin2wholegoddamnyears · 31/05/2018 06:33

Hola 👋🏻 See my current post.....I’m in the same situation as you. Luckily I’m not married to him, but I feel your pain, it’s soul destroying, my OH wouldn’t know the truth if it slapped him in the face. The worst thing for me is the feeling of total disrespect for my feelings and intelligence.
I’m am currently making plans to split but finding it very difficult with a young child involved (also pregnant with my second)
My OH has had a very troubled childhood but I no longer accept that as an excuse for his behaviour towards me, I’m a strong believer in breaking the cycle of abuse not following in the footsteps.
I don’t have any advise other than to stay wise to the bull shit.
Do you have children?

Blondebakingmumma · 31/05/2018 06:43

I haven’t dealt with a compulsive liar before. How often does he lie? About small everyday hints or major things?

ShatnersWig · 31/05/2018 08:10

How do you not discover something like this before you get married though? Genuine question.

gamerchick · 31/05/2018 08:15

My ex was like this, he would lie about everything. He would lie about things that didn't even need lying about and just end up making a small thing frustratingly complicated. Even when caught out with a lie and you're showing him the evidence of the lie he would still lie.

They never stop doing it, you'll end up not replying on him for absolutely anything and may flirt with thoughts of caving his head in on occasion and that isn't a nice way to feel.

gamerchick · 31/05/2018 08:15

Relying*

NukaColaGirl · 31/05/2018 08:19

@gamerchick my ExH was exactly the same.

hellsbellsmelons · 31/05/2018 08:22

My ExP was the same.
He's also a narc.
If your DH won't get help then what is your next step.
Note, everyone on here is called their liars an Ex.
All for very good reasons.

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