Photos

[dontdoubtyourself]

How would you react if you went on your husband's phone to look at pictures, to find thousands of images of other women, who look like normal women (NOT PORNSTAR), in various states of undress and sexual?
Like bent over and taken with their phone camera in a mirror if that makes sense, with nothing on. Or topless.
Impossible to tell if he was sent them or saved them.

Is it just porn?

Do these women even know these photos have been shared?
Big deal, or no big deal?

I would be very pissed off yes. You can tell the difference if they are of porn stars/professionally taken etc to a woman taking it herself. What do you think the photos are? Googled images or ones that women have taken themselves? It's an insult to you.

I guess it sort of depends on your attitude to porn....

If it’s lots of pictures and of different women rather than one - it’s most likely downloaded from some website where they upload themselves... So - those women put them up for people to see.

Why your H needed to download them rather than just look online when desire stokes him is perplexing.

Depending on your level of openness in your relationship and ability to discuss these things - i’d ask him what this is about and if anything is missing in your sex life....

If your relationship and sex is ok and there hasn’t been any changes - it can be just his ‘Playboy collection’ - just a modern version.
But as I said - it all depends on your attitude to these things and how things are in general between you.

I'd be furious. How would he like it, if you had photo's of loads of men naked with erections?

I would be taking a careful look to see, if they are all of the same woman (affair?). Mind you, he could still be talking to these women via some website which would make it way worse than porn.

Eeeew, creepy or what; I know some women are cool with this, I'd not be and I'd wonder what else was on his phone.

My ex was into amateur porn like this. It's basically usually pervy guys who share their exes private photos sent to them.

I find it more creepy because some of the photos my ex would save would be of girls just very scantily clad, but they were photos you may see on someone's facebook from a night out. Then I searched his history and found he was viewing peoples facebook albums for most likely his pleasure. Pretty gross.

Please note he is now an ex.

People like amateur porn. But it freaks me out when guys need to save albums of things? Like do you really need thousands of photos on your phone? THOUSANDS???

I found out my DP at the time had actually taken the photos himself with women he met via Ashley Madison type websites.

It could just be amateur porn, personally I would ask DP what the hell is going on while I had his gonads in a vice grip.

Just ask him, he might just like looking at other half naked women does not mean he does not respect you or love you or find you desirable anymore. Men and some women are just a bit pervy nothing we can do about it, mine gets turned on by stockings and high heels what can I say...

meowimacat yeah it's pretty much that. Including the Facebook stuff, once I found some I went searching for the rest. He also has Kik and snapchat, that I was unaware of. Unfortunately most look very young as well. And I say that as a mid twenty something.

I'm fucking livid and to me this is a huge betrayal of trust. Fuck being the cool wife

If it's secretive I'd be angry and as you say a betrayal of trust. I'd want to talk to him and for him to let me have open access to his home etc in future.

I'm so sorry horray that is just horrendous

I would stay quiet , not sure if you have mentioned it yet and be ‘reviewing my options’ . It’s totally bang out of order. If others are cool, they are either desperate, don’t have as much invested in someone or just way way more liberal than I am

I just don’t get these women who do this kind of stuff either, unless they are being paid to do so. I have even more of an issue with amateur porn than normal because I suspect a fair old amount of it is non consensual filming. Having had a friend go through that, I’m really touchy about it!!

Hmmm Kik especially would worry me, as isn't that just a way to communicate with people without sharing your phone number? I have a feeling he's doing some kind of sex chat or something. My ex was also into amateur cam sites, so would pay girls £100's of pounds to strip off on camera so he could watch them. Normal, ugly looking girls - not to be mean but they were nothing amazing to look at and he was paying them when he had me - a young blonde slim girl in my 20's (at the time lol.)

This behaviour won't change. I would definitely monitor it but not confront him yet as sadly there will be more that you find now, especially if he's into the teen look. Can you access his emails? It would not surprise me in the slightest if he's on cam sites.

Oh and my ex also had 100's of photos saved in albums on his computer. I think it's a bit of an addiction to be honest.

I would keep digging if you can...read messages etc in case these girls are 'real' and he is talking to them. I would also be worried about the age thing...he sounds quite creepy, is leaving him something you have strongly considered? Also, don't confront him until you have gathered more info otherwise he will start damage control and minimise everything...