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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Was I an OW?

8 replies

wasitheotherwoman · 22/03/2018 23:29

Met on dating site. Seemed lovely. Called every night for hours

Sent photo of a room packed with things saying was moving to mums from a flat he'd been renting

Sent photo of divorce application

(I never asked for these photos they were amongst other random WhatsApp)

Called on his way to/from kids each weekend. Sent photos of kids occasionally with him at weekend

Never showed me where he lived. Never introduced me to a single friend of his. Never went out anywhere in his area. Usually spoke to me on phone in his car. Occasionally in house with mother who doesn't speak English

I accepted the above as that he was from another culture who wouldn't accept me unless we were to get married

On a course once asked me not to act like I was more than a friend in case his colleagues attended and said he hadn't told work he was split from wife and just said she was fine if they asked

Breakup - tons of ignoring and not reading/responding to anything or if answered phone would always have to "call back" then call back from car usually

I know nobody can say for certain but it's fairly likely I've been his "oops I got bored of marriage I'm going back to it now" OW isn't it?

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 22/03/2018 23:30

I'd say so, yes

DairyisClosed · 22/03/2018 23:31

Doesn't seem good OP. What a bastard Flowers

CoolGirlsNeverGetAngry · 22/03/2018 23:31

Yep

wasitheotherwoman · 22/03/2018 23:36

Funny how he regaled tales of how poor old him had been abused and bullied by ex wife.

I believed him. If he has returned to her. I feel very sorry for her now

OP posts:
TheVanguardSix · 22/03/2018 23:39

Yes.
Or at least he's still pining for her and hoping to win her back.
So very many, many time bandits out there.
Flowers

wasitheotherwoman · 22/03/2018 23:44

Poor woman. She gave him 3 lovely boys. All small too

I genuinely believed his tales of her. Ugh 😡

I was reassured by how much he communicated thinking it was impossible he was still with her/thinking of going back

He can thank his lucky stars I can't be arsed to contact her and find out for sure

OP posts:
MistressDeeCee · 23/03/2018 02:21

Id never believe any man id only recently met who had 'my ex was a bully/bitch/crazy' etc as part of their chat up routine/early stage conversation. Sympathy-seeking lies are deeply unattractive. You can feel sorry for her but he showed you he was always with their DCs which means, he was also seeing her. So it's pretty likely she doesn't even know you exist, alongside nobody knowing you were a couple so to speak as you were hidden. So yes, you were the OW. At least you've had a lucky escape.

wasitheotherwoman · 23/03/2018 04:17

He was only with his boys afaik on the weekend hence why I thought he was telling the truth

But yeah I'm sure I'm the crazy abusive one now. I'm sure every woman he ever meets will become the crazy abusive one

OP posts:
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