Would you be annoyed by this?

[downbutnotout2018]

Two days ago I left 'dp' after many months of planning with my 2 dcs. Hr has been verbally and emotionally abusive. We are at my parents and leave for our new accommodation tomorrow.

I (serendipitously) lost my old phone, so my father has kindly lent me one of his with a different number. However whilst I was out at the shops with my dcs (having a great time) my father sent a text to my ex-dp telling him my new number, and that this was a temporary loan.

AIBU to be really annoyed about this? Surely this is crossing a boundary. If anyone should be letting him know how to contact him, it should be me.... mega annoyed.

Hell yeah I'd be annoyed, very, what made him do that?

perhaps he was thinking of contact with the kids, but its up to me to arrange that. I feel he's massively overstepped the boundary and am really angry... all my mum can say is 'well he's spent ages reconditioning that phone for you'.... as if that makes it ok then

Has your df reason to think you would go back to dp? Does he know the facts surrounding your relationship? If not tell him the truth and say you need his support and loyalty right now.

I think it is crucial you explain why you're angry to your dad. How dare he?

Yes I would be very annoyed about it - why would he do that?
The floor shifts under your feet when this kind of family betrayal plays out.

would rather not discuss the full, gory details with df....

Can you block the number if you need to?
It's annoying your ex has your number, but you don't have to answer the phone to him if you don't want to.

I don't actually mind talking to the ex about child or house related issues, but wanted it to be on my terms. There was no need for him to take matters into his own hands.... No wonder I have boundary issues....

Buy a cheap PAYG and give DF the other phone to keep for himself.
As well as letting him know he's been a complete plank.

I would put a new SIM in it and explain to DF that I would choose how and when I contacted ex. Can you say to him, 'I cannot face telling you everything I have been through. I don't want you to know. But I need you to take my side unconditionally - not be having contact with Ex behind my back or I do not feel safe with you.

YOU can buy a sim for 99p. Put that in the phone.

...and I understand why you're annoyed. Your dad had no business doing that.

Has he explained his reasoning? I'd be livid. I'd like to hear what his thought processes were though.

Change the sim or get a cheapy phone to tide you over. Tell your dad that under no circumstances is he to give this number out and if he does then he won’t be getting the new number.

If you can’t share the details with your dad then could you with your mum and ask her to help you hunker down?

Does your father know the details of the split? If not, he might not have inferred the problem here. I can’t quite understand why he’d have done this unless he had limited knowledge of the details of your relationship, and simply thinks he’s being helpful on a practical level.