I've been married for 9 year (together for 20) and we have two children (7 and 12). I've been going through the menopause and my libido has hit rock bottom, having said that I have never been particularly interested in sex and could quite happily never have sex ever again.
My husband has been very understanding and I know he just doesn't bother anymore because he knows he's not going to get anywhere. I feel awful that I feel this way. It feels like it's gone on for so long now there's no way back.
My husband is quite emotionally stunted and comes from a family that don't really hug and kiss each other whereas my upbringing was hugely different with loads of cuddles and vocalising how much we all loved each other. I know I'm to blame to some extent but I feel like the only time my husband is affectionate is when he wants sex, he hasn't told me he loves me for years, and when he does it's usually after we've had sex!
He works in the city and seems to be socialising much more lately. There doesn't seem to be a week where he isn't out for a gig or drinks with work colleagues. Even my children have commented about how he is always out. I know he's stressed at work but he always seems to be in a bad mood and hardly ever wants to do things with the rest of us.
Anyway, I was out in the garden this morning with the dog and from my position in the garden I could see him sitting in the living room scrolling though a page on his phone which was just pictures of women (not pornographic btw), he kept zooming in and then scrolling down again. I watched him for a while without him realising and then when I went inside he immediately shut his phone off and put it down. I asked him why he was looking at pictures of women on his phone and he looked like shit I've been busted. He said he was just looking at random stuff, but he wasn't very convincing. And I just said you'd better not be lying to me. What do I do now?