There seems to be an issue with brother in law

[Lostmum72]

I felt there is a problem for some time now, when I first met him I got on well with him, seemed chatty was interested and told everyone how much he liked me and was pleased for his brother. 5 years on he seems awkward around me, will talk to everyone else, will say hello to me and goodbye but that’s it no interest in anything. He refused to be best man at our wedding, could be he just doesn’t want the responsibility, but then last night at a party someone suggested myself and my dp and his brother and his wife should visit them together. I said oh we hardly do anything together, he said well we did till you came along! Everyone laughed but I think that screams jealousy, what do you think?

I’m now dreading being around him around Xmas as I now feel uncomfortable, also the next time I see him will be on the anniversary of my dad’s passing 1 year, so I’m bound to me more sensitive anyway!

What did your DH say when he said that?

Very strange.

Perhaps he's jealous because your DH prefers to spend time with you.

Nothing, but it was a bit awkward sitting at a dinner table and everyone else laughed it was also someone’s birthday. I’ve not been able to discuss it with him yet as the kids been around but he knows I feel there is something wrong!

Yeh sandy this is what I’m thinking too! We had a similar issue with one of his mates!

Rather than accept that his brother has moved on with a new phase in his life, he is blaming you. He probably assumed that his relationship with his brother would not change and is finding it hard to accept the reality.

There is not much you can do about his immature behaviour. Even if the Brothers started doing things together now, it is probably too late. You can only be pleasant and rise above it.

Well that’s the thing, they didn’t do a lot together before I was around apparently. I’ve discussed it with dp, he agrees it’s jealousy of some sort, he’s disappointed with him. It may be to do with money or something. He’s his older brother and likes to think he’s top dog! Fortunately I don’t see too much of him but quite a lot this time of year, and then it reminds me what he’s like. People!!!!!!

I have exactly the same thing with my SIL. It's like they don't want their younger siblings to have relationships as that means they are no longer beholden to them, or something.

What is wrong with people! Why can’t they just be happy for you!