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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Boyfriend at last

8 replies

conway · 11/12/2017 19:10

Finally found a boyfriend who I have been dating a few months. I have been divorced for 3 years and it has taking me a long time finding someone so special. I have never introduced my 2 boys to anyone and want to know the best way to do it. They are 11 and 16 and spend 80% of the time with me.
I have been invited to a New years Eve party with my new boyfriend but don't think I can go as my 11 year old will want to be with me.
It is meant to be their dad's turn to have them but he is busy!!
Any thoughts of how to tell them I have a boyfriend.

OP posts:

loveyoutothemoon · 11/12/2017 20:25

I think it's too early to introduce your boyfriend to your boys but go to the party and introduce him as a friend.

ThisLittleKitty · 11/12/2017 20:28

Too early when they've been dating a few months? If they were younger I would possibly agree but 11 and 16 are old enough to know and I'm sorry they won't buy the "friend" thing at that age they are not stupid so I think it's best to be honest with them.

Dozer · 11/12/2017 20:30

Seems early to be introducing the 11yo so either organise childcare or for them to go to a friend’s or give the party a miss.

NotTheFordType · 11/12/2017 20:39

Surely the 16yr old will be able to look after the 11yr old?

[disclaimer: i only have one DS who is now adult]

Dozer · 11/12/2017 20:40

Presume the 16 yo will have their own plans!

TheNaze73 · 11/12/2017 21:14

Far, far too soon to introduce them.

Could you get childcare for the youngest?

Cabininthewoods69 · 11/12/2017 22:10

That's a difficult one. I was mates with my now dh before so my daughter knew him as my friend. Honestly didn't know we would end up together. We hid the relationship from her but his kids twigged as they were 13 and 17. No regrets about it, but I didn't see my dh as anything other then a mate. Then woke up one day and fell in love with him.

Mrswinkler · 11/12/2017 22:23

Talk to your 16 year old about it and take your 11 year old to the party. Introduce him as a friend. If they twig it's a boyfriend it's not a massive problem. I personally don't see the problem with introducing someone to your kids. Just don't make a big deal of it. You're an adult who needs adult friends and company. Keep it low key and they shouldn't feel threatened by it.

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