Howto ask for a separation kindly?

[FrankensteinsSister]

I love DH and, for practical and emotional reasons we’re going to have to remain on very good terms.

But, it’s time to go.
How do I even start this conversation? How do I do it kindly?
I’m thinking dc to grandparents to give us both some space.
We’ve been to relate, so this shouldn’t be a complete surprise, but he’s very much a head burier and I suspect would carry on indefinitely if I leave this unsaid.

I think we can all struggle to find the right time to have these difficult conversations and i too find myself putting off saying anything because it never feels like a good time. But then when it's all out in the open you feel so much better.

Perhaps do what you need to make sure that you feel able and comfortable in saying what you have to say. if that's having the DC out of the house then do it.

I think it's best to just come out with what you need to say and allow DH the space to process it. My DH also buries his head in the sand and ignores issues as long as possible, it's very draining to deal with and you have my sympathy, but try to focus on yourself instead of him and do what you think you need to feel better and to get yourself out of your situation.

Good luck.

"for practical and emotional reasons we’re going to have to remain on very good terms."

That, of course, is what you want. Regardless of what you want and think about how he will react, part of your planning has to consider alternatives if this goes sideways and he doesnt want to remain on very good terms. You have checked out, he hasnt. It may not be as clean as you want it. It may even be clean for the first several months and then he changes. Be prepared for this.