What’s the best online dating site?

[FlyingSoloFlyingFree]

I’m a bit nervous of asking on the dating thread as there are too many horror stories.

I’ve tried PoF which has been a disaster, Tinder scared the pants off me so now looking at a paid site but they all seem quite serious - is there no happy medium between quick shag and full on relationship?

Considering eHarmony or Match.com, am also on Guardian Soulmates but not getting anywhere, don’t think I am highbrow enough! Any other recommendations gratefully received.

They are all equally shit in my opinion. Paid sites are no guarantee of better luck as there are plenty of fake profiles on them, too (often put up by companies to snare you back in when it's time to renew).

It depends hugely on where you are, too. Guardian Soulmates tends to be weighted towards Manchester and some other cities and of course any dating site is going to have far more options if you live in a city compared with somewhere more rural.

Just stick with POF and learn to filter out the weirdos. The same people are on the paid sites anyway.

Bumble!

None they are all shit.

Pof. Match. Have been the worst imo.

As said above most people in paid sites have also a profile in POF.

IME paid sites other than Match.com are a waste of money unless you are in a densely populated metropolitan area. Match is better than POF as there are not so many unemployed people but again, most people in this sites have also a profile in POF.

I found okcupid to be the best to find people who actually have similar interests and views to me. Loads of my friends have been successful with okcupid. I found PoF to be annoying and fairly inaccurate with its matches tbh.

Elite Singles! No messers on there. Met my husband there, after being very against OLD.

Elite singles is shockingly expensive. I cant afford it

Badoo is pretty good

I heard from a dating friend about Elite Singles!

Honestly I think pof is best, lots of weirdos but most people on the paid sites are on there (as pp said).

I found match to have just as many weirdos tbh. I find people aren't very chatty on bumble and it's all a bit pretentious.

Tinder!
IME, everyone that is on a paid site is also on Tinder. Of course, so are a lot of married men/weirdos/chancers but it's possible to weed those out. I really liked that Tinder was simple to use and seemed to catch everyone in the local area. Plus, as it has a reputation for being a hook up site, I found it really easy to be upfront and straightforward about what I was looking for and able to ask people what they wanted.
I met my boyfriend on there. He was also looking for a "proper" relationship.

Bumble is good, v similar to tinder except only the woman can talk first, feels a bit more female friendly. Met my current guy on there and he's a feminist!

I think what you have to just realise is that out of 100 people you chat with maybe 1 could have potential. It's so off putting but that's how I've found it. POF for me just seems full of weirdos and the SAME ones over and over. Bumble you have to make the first move which I don't like. Tinder seems to be the only one I don't hate. Yes most of the guys are after a hook up, BUT there are a few good ones if you just ignore/unmatch the weirdos when they come along. I vowed never to use OLD again but in a moment of boredom signed up to Tinder and have been speaking to a lovely guy who seems after exactly the same things as me. Just be straight forward and upfront about what you want/don't want.

I was on POF and Match. I got on better on Match. I was on POF for around 2 years, went on LOTS of dates. One of them went on to be a 6 months relationship but that's it. Joined Match when that ended. 3rd guy I met on there is now my husband and we're expecting our second child. It is random chance though I guess.

What are you looking for? Not casual and not a relationship?

Thanks for the timely reminder @meowimacat about numbers. I've been OLD for ten weeks and finding it tedious. Had 5 dates, 1 from elite singles, 1 from okcupid, 2 from Guardian Soulmates and 1 from Bumble. Must have chatted to over 50 ppl. It's exhausting. The last time I did OLD I met ex on second date!

But yes, it absolutely numbers and perseverance. Bumble is my current favourite- the guys are smarter and can handle a woman making the first move. And it's free.

Meh. It's like flippin job hunting!'

I briefly tried paid for sites when I was looking but came across lots of emotionally unavailable men who thought the fact they'd paid to be on the site gave them the right to a shag.

Of the two I dated on there, one told me he wasn't ready for a relationship after a couple of dates, which was fine as I'd already realised that there was no chemistry there. Unfortunately when I said I thought we were more friends than anything else he ended up sobbing hysterically and telling me how fucked up his life was. The other dumped me by email, shortly after he'd asked me to move in with him and then disappeared off the face of the planet.

PoF on the other hand was great fun (once you learn to weed out the weirdos!). I met my DP on there, which was weird as he lived 10mins up the road and we had lots of mutual friends. We've been living together a few years now and at the weekend he asked me to marry him, so it worked for us

They're all much of a muchness. Please don't fall into the trap of thinking that a 'better quality man' pays for a site. A controlling wanker with money to spare is still a controlling wanker. Oh and guys looking for ONS are on paying sites too. It's a numbers game. It really is.

Personally I hate Match and Tinder but quite like POF. The worst site for me was EHarmony. Sometimes I use a paying site for a change. Whether or not you pay for the site you need the hide of a rhino, the willingness to block at the first sign of a red flag and the ability to smell bullshit when it's being thrown at you. Remember: filter, filter, filter.

I have paid for a few different ones and barely any views let alone matches and the same faces every day!

I definitely preferred OKCupid.

Thanks all this is so interesting, lots to think about .