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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Lying husband

10 replies

Faithslayergirl · 04/12/2017 08:40

Not really sure what to think hoping for some advice this is quite long. I have been married to my husband for 2 years. Prior to me he was engaged to a lady, but by all accounts it ended very badly after she constantly accused him of cheating. He left various items with her which he never collected. Fast forward 5 years to last Saturday 25th Nov. I’m sat in the car his business phone (we run our own) went off two message one saying hey CK the other saying I’m working in Bedfordshire on Monday to meet up. I knew straight away it was the ex the name is part of her surname I said nothing. Fast forward to this Saturday 2/12 his phones (he has 2) start ringing at 6am family numbers I run turn off phone. Check messages for VM and low and behold more messages some in a different language (my husbands not English) and one from Fri morning telling her he has just left how was she looking like. Then phone calls. I was so mad I never said anything. A few hours later in the car I confronted him he said it was a polish guy (who happens to speak his African language) possible but unlikely. He carried on saying this. I asked for his phone he had deleted everything every contact the messages and even the sat nav. So I asked again same story. I then said a lot of things including divorce. Fast forward to home I told him he had one week to leave he eventually told me it was his ex but he had only been in contact to get his stuff back...after 5 years and later I again discovered he hadn’t yet asked for his stuff. And under what pretence were they meeting he wouldn’t say. Finally I told him to ring her I’m sure he saved her number somewhere. And tell her he only wanted his stuff and he didn’t want contact (this was what he was telling me) he had a choice do that and help save the family. He refused. So he has gone I have removed all his stuff. He is not sorry he has shown no signs of remorse. So was he really just getting his stuff back or am I right and my husband is a lying cheating scumbag.

(Post edited by MNHQ)

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 04/12/2017 09:05

I would suggest you are right and your husband is a lying cheating scumbag.
I'm sorry you are going through this but you did the right thing.
No trust = no relationship.

Greedynan · 04/12/2017 09:23

You husband is clearly lying. You know this. That is so disrespectful. I'm not sure exactly what he's trying to hide but he's forgetting his vows to you by treating you with a lack of consideration and respect.

Faithslayergirl · 04/12/2017 09:39

I forgot to add we have a 7 month old baby and I am dealing with possible returning cancer and a broken kidney....so tired

OP posts:
Isetan · 04/12/2017 10:23

He was lying and you finding out has forced his hand and he has chosen to leave rather than continue knowing you know.

Focus on getting support.

mickhucknallspinkpancakes · 04/12/2017 11:48

I've asked MNHQ to alter your post so that you aren't using real peoples names.

Faithslayergirl · 04/12/2017 12:00

Of course I wasn’t thinking

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 04/12/2017 12:03

Ohhh... OP - I'm so sorry.
You are going through so much right now.
Unfortunately, for some very odd reason, a lot of affairs begin during pregnancy.
Do you have some support around you at all?
Family or friends?
If so then tell them everything.
Get all the support around you can right now.
Don't worry about him or his 'reputation' you just get what you need.

Pinkpillows · 04/12/2017 12:10

He is cheating stay strong get him gone

AngelsSins · 04/12/2017 16:38

What an absolute bastard. OP, I'm sure you're no fool and you know, deep down, that this pathetic coward is lying to you. The question is what you do next. Do you own a house together? Do you have family/friends close by who can help you?

Gemini69 · 04/12/2017 17:47

what a fecking Creep.... OP I hope you are able to focus on your Baby and your Health... Flowers

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