What next

[Enoughnowplease]

What happens if I decide right now to leave DH?
I.e. tomorrow morning:
Background is: we live in London, we manage this purely because of equity, but not enough to buy two properties.
There has been no cheating.
We have 2 DS aged 7 and 9.
He is the wage earner.
I have a small business that pays me up to the tax allowance.
Ds1 has SEN and we are in the middle of applying for an EHCP, probably committed to paying 5k.
Savings would cover that but that’s savings used up.
I could not support DSs on my own. H could not cover even a shared flat on his own locally, never mind rent and child support.
So if I kicked him out tomorrow his next pay check couldn’t possibly cover the mortgage plus somewhere for him to live never mind living expenses.
So what do I do? Who do I contact?
How do I feed my children?

NB no family support. I am estranged from my abusive family. His a) will obviously take his side, b) think DS1 doesn’t have SEN

Can he stay with a friend or family locally? Will he leave his home voluntarily?

Financially you could speak to CAB for advice. Or there is a benefits website ( sorry to n9t be more helpful but some who actually knows may be along in a minute).

It's really hard, especially if you have no support. Could you live together but not as husband and wife? Or is there something that makes this difficult?

How severe are DS1's special needs? If he attends mainstream school and could attend mainstream childcare then this would enable you to work - even part-time would entitle you to tax credits to top up your income.

Background is: we live in London, we manage this purely because of equity, but not enough to buy two properties.

You might be surprised - if you were both in work, having even relatively small deposits from the equity would enable you each to explore home ownership options such as shared ownership. Or, you sell your current home and each rent - with you very likely entitled to some housing benefit.

It's difficult to give objective advice without knowing the entire situation but if you really want / need to end the marriage then there are options. They might be tough options which require some tough sacrifices but only you know whether doing that would be better than maintaining what you have currently or not.