Yes it's chilling isn't it?
My ex was the master of this, lying and gaslighting.
One prime example was the day I found a receipt whilst cleaning under the sofa. It was for £900, but the store name was very faint.
We had a new born dc and very little money (he never shared his salary details just gave towards the bills) so I asked him what it was for.
He blew up in my face, called me a nosy bitch, and that's why nice things never happened to me, because I was so nosy and awful I didn't deserve them. I had ruined the surprise and he'd never forgive me for that.....
I stood there with a blank face...what surprise?
He told me it was the deposit for an engagement ring he was having made for me, but now I'd ruined it.
I was so ashamed of myself I felt awful for weeks afterwards. I was too afraid to mention any discussion of engagement because I'd hurt him so much.
Anyhow a few months later I was sorting out some paperwork and came across it again in my paper-tray where I kept it (he scrunched it up and threw it at me)
I used a phone to photograph the store name and blew it up on screen to find out the store. I was curious as to where he went and which store it was as it never appeared.
I googled the store and it turned out it was a dive shop, selling wetsuits etc.
He'd basically spent £900 on himself whilst I kept a roof over our heads, and then when I found out tried to beat me down with guilt and bad feeling.
It worked until I found the store. When I confronted him, he said yes, it was all a very funny joke apparently. And just laughed in my face.
Sick sick sick.