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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Messaging younger woman

34 replies

EllieB09 · 27/11/2017 14:52

As if I wasn’t questioning my marriage enough right now, I found messages on my husbands work phone to a much younger colleague. (She’s never heard of Ghostbusters/Back to the future etc) While these were during work time they didn’t all concern work and there was definitely some ‘over friendly’ banter. He always initiates the chat and some of the things he’s written have made me think what a sad idiot he really is. I suspect she’s a graduate and has worked closely with him some months ago but he has never mentioned her as he has with the other graduates he’s worked with. He has a meeting with her this week and while discussing dates and times he added ‘it would be lovely to see you’. I’m lucky if he answers my work calls/texts yet he has plenty of time to be messaging someone half his age!! He has also been making more effort with the way he dresses at work....more trendy. He has no patience with me and our girls and his moods are up and down like a yo yo. I was going to talk to him later but finding these messages has only made me more determined to tell him how sh*t he makes me feel. Am I overreacting?

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 27/11/2017 15:16

No, I don't think so. I'd be calling a solicitor for advice and kicking his arse to the kerb.

Sorry. Flowers

EllieB09 · 27/11/2017 15:25

Don’t be sorry. I’m close to doing that anyway!

OP posts:
notapizzaeater · 27/11/2017 15:28

Snap, regardless of her thoughts, he’s chasing her .... I’d be chasing him out the door

EllieB09 · 27/11/2017 15:32

He really is isn’t he? :(

OP posts:
Smeaton · 27/11/2017 15:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EllieB09 · 27/11/2017 15:35

I’ve actually videoed me scrolling through his message feed to her lol!

OP posts:
Smeaton · 27/11/2017 15:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Annelind · 27/11/2017 16:10

So sorry about the situation Op, but.... I’ve actually videoed me scrolling through his message feed to her lol!.... fabulous! Grin

EllieB09 · 27/11/2017 16:18

I leave nothing to chance! Lol

OP posts:
JaffaCakes4TeaNow · 27/11/2017 16:21

Ouch

Annelind · 27/11/2017 16:26

Who ya gonna call? phonebuster! (I ain't afraid of no cheat) Grin

EllieB09 · 27/11/2017 16:35

Lol!

OP posts:
Smeaton · 27/11/2017 16:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mickhucknallspinkpancakes · 27/11/2017 17:18

Jesus he's such a cliche isn't he?

I can see why the OP is laughing- it's almost embarrassing to be married to him I'll bet.

He'll be buying cowboy boots or "cool trainers" soon and putting gel in his comb over....

I'd stop washing his skiddy undies for a start!

Im so sorry op, of you don't laugh you'll cry eh?

Mince314 · 27/11/2017 17:23

A massive turn off.

EllieB09 · 27/11/2017 18:31

I guess so. I’ve finally decided enough is enough. And if I don’t laugh I’ll cry

OP posts:
EllieB09 · 27/11/2017 18:31

I’ve replied in the wrong place

OP posts:
ReturnOfTheMackYesItIs · 27/11/2017 18:36

Sounds like it's dead already sadly OP.

Did you send her a video of you reading the messages though? I wouldn't have done that if you did. Doesn't sound like you know she's done anything wrong and it'll make you look, well..you can imagine.

mickhucknallspinkpancakes · 27/11/2017 18:41

Yes either she's pulled in by the older man in a more powerful job thing, or distressed about being leeres over by a sweaty pasty.

mickhucknallspinkpancakes · 27/11/2017 18:42

*leered

Gah!

EllieB09 · 27/11/2017 18:45

God no. I’m not involving her at all. I videoed it so I could read it all at my leisure

OP posts:
EllieB09 · 27/11/2017 18:45

Lol. My husband is actually a hottie. I wouldn’t be with some sweaty balding bloke that’s for sure!

OP posts:
CircleofWillis · 27/11/2017 18:52

Ellie are you really doing OK about it? The tone of your posts seem a little... odd.

EllieB09 · 27/11/2017 19:27

How so?

OP posts:
Hesanidiot · 27/11/2017 19:39

You sound at the end of your tether to me.