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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Feel so betrayed

12 replies

Racmactac · 26/11/2017 15:55

I ended my relationship with partner on Friday and asked him to leave.

In the mean time a friend had been phoning me and texting me all day, I ignored her messages because it was constant and I had a gut feeling she was in contact with my dp.

This friend is a coupley friend but primarily my friend.
Saturday we were supposed to be meeting up and told her I was still going to this place. I ended up standing on my own as she didn't turn up. I went home and about half hour later received message from her saying sorry I looked for you but couldn't see you I'm in the pub. I told her it was no fun standing on my own in the cold and I'd gone home.

She messaged me this morning and the message was off. I asked if she was in touch with my ex. She told me he had spent the weekend with them.

I feel absolutely betrayed that she didn't tell me immediately. It's not so much that he stayed there but he tells me that they had a conversation about telling me. Her husband told my ex he should tell me but they decided not to and that she would tell me.

So instead of meeting me she was stood in the pub with him.
Ex thinks I am completely unreasonable and it's my fault for not answering her texts or calls on Friday but quite frankly I was in a bit of a mess.
I feel absolutely floored

OP posts:
TheSnowFairy · 26/11/2017 16:10

She probably thought, as you weren't answering her on Friday,that Saturday wasn't confirmed.

But with regards to having your ex there - I would not see her again. She has made it clear whose side she is on.

Racmactac · 26/11/2017 17:55

I'm just so heartbroken. I can't stop crying. Sent friend a message but she has just ignored me.

OP posts:
Angelf1sh · 26/11/2017 18:08

Well if she’s ignoring you then there’s your answer. Cut them all out of your life. Your friend clearly knew you were supposed to be meeting her as she claimed to have looked for you, yet she didn’t bother to call you when she couldn’t find you. It sounds like she’s made her choice and it’s not you.

Gemini69 · 26/11/2017 20:39

Your friend has shown her true colours... her loyalty is to her Husbands mate.... forget them all Flowers

Racmactac · 26/11/2017 20:51

It bloody hurts tho.

OP posts:
Bekabeech · 26/11/2017 21:07

It does hurt but better now than weeks later, and realising everything you’ve said to them has gone straight back to him.

Racmactac · 26/11/2017 21:11

How can a so called friend behave lie that. It would have taken nothing to drop me a text to say he was there.
No response to my message at lunch time. I guess she thinks he is in the right.

OP posts:
springydaffs · 26/11/2017 22:37

So hurtful Flowers

MaidofHulaHoopz · 27/11/2017 02:26

That sounds horrible, I really feel for you. Sounds like your DP has gone to her and put his version across before you'd had a chance to say anything to her and she has decided he deserves her sympathy! Is that right do you think?

It was a shitty way for her to treat you. If you're really close though, is there a chance you could meet up and put your side across to her?

Either way though... a true friend would have stood by you, and so far she's not doing that is she. If she carries on ignoring you, drop her. Get new friends. Don't waste your time and energy on her (easier said than done I know).

dentalplanlisaneedsbraces · 27/11/2017 02:50

Block them all.

Racmactac · 27/11/2017 07:20

Well it appears she has blocked me so that says everything I need to know. I text her husband and let him know what I think.
I suspect he may be manipulating her but she shouldn't be so stupid.

OP posts:
Thinkingofausername1 · 27/11/2017 10:51

I wonder if there is more too this op. Do you think they could have had an affair or she has feelings for him to behave this way?
She has shown her true colours now.
We are all here for you

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