H wants me to "tell him what I want" - divorce related

[divorcenightmare]

Rather than go through the whole financial divorce court process.

How can I tell him what I want without both of our Form Es being on the table? His is spectacularly incomplete but he doesn't see this. He thinks I have lied on mine. I haven't. Apparently his solicitors only received some of my documentation - one account. I don't think this is true. Everything H says makes me feel like I am going mad.

He says he will not be told by other people how to divide things up and the money we are spending on solicitors is the kids'. I agree but I still can't just "tell him what I want". For a start he hasn't had any of his properties valued. And has put the purchase price down for two of them (but not for the marital home).

What do I do? It is all very hard.

Solicitor, now!

I think this is only going to work through solicitors, in that it's clear he isn't wanting what the courts would see as a fair financial settlement. Just stick to that line.

I would stop talking to him altogether and only go through a solicitor. Ask your solicitor to write a letter informing his solicitor that despite your attempts to reach a settlement with incurring excessive costs he has not been equally compliant and has been harsassing you. As a result all communications will go through your solicitor and the incurred costs will be his fault.

We both do have solicitors. I think his might be not great. They are online and they let his Form E go out with lots of info missing etc...

He is already divorced and says the legal profession are only in it to line their pockets.

We are living in the same house which emotionally makes it very hard.

Agree solicitor now - yes they cost money but your husband by asking you what you want has nothing to do with the children - unless you both know what the assets are and what you're entitled to / options are how can you possibly know what you want - none of us can make sensible decisions when stressed/ vulnerable - sure prolonged wrangling of the sort that usually makes it into the tabloids is destructive and only makes money for the lawyers but would take a guess that's not you

Don't be emotionally manipulated by him....let the solicitors deal with it as they know what they are doing your solicitor will make sure you get what your entitled to...Tell him your solicitor has advised you not to discuss financial matters with him...,stick to your guns....good luck I know it's hard but you need the best financial outcome possible and only your solicitor can get that for you....stay strong

We have solicitors already. I don't know how he has so mis-understood form e or the whole process. He has not engaged at all and in any case never takes on board what "authority" says.

We are supposed to exchange questionnaires and when he sees my solicitor's he is going to do his nut. She is basically asking him for the whole thing again as he has not provided it properly. He really and truly seems not to understand the process.

Don't be emotionally manipulated by him.

It is manipulation you are right.

Tell him you want to go before a judge and a judge can decide what's fair

Can you tell him once he has completed the form properly, you will tell him what you want? Unless he does that, it's solicitors all the way. Then take advice from your solicitor re: whether the form is properly filled in and what you ask him for.

It does sound like yours is ultimately a solicitors and court situation though if he has multiple properties and is being obstructive.

Yes - or at the very least I want his Form to be complete so solicitors can advise properly. He literally does not seem to understand though, and behaves as if everyone is out to get him.

Emotionally it is very hard.

What is he trying to hide? Sounds like he is being deliberately obstructive so you need a good solicitor who will get you what you are entitled to.

He hasn't misunderstood the form e. It's his second time, FFS. Don't negotiate or engage. Get your solicitor to deal with the incomplete form e.

He says he will not be told by other people how to divide things up I'd love to hear him tell the judge that

This has all the hallmarks of him trying to get you to agree to something far less than you’d be entitled to if you had all the facts and it went to court. It’s no wonder he’s pushing you.

He hasn't misunderstood the form. Solicitors all the way.