Has anyone used Relate to help with seperation/divorce?

[Sparrowlegs248]

I was referred to counselling by my GP after the birth of my second child. Concerns re pnd, swify dismissed and passed onto relate as my problems were clearly down to my marriage.

I've seen relate several times alone and have got to the stage of telling my husband (and him actually taking me seriously) that it's over.

The counsellor has offered joint sessions to help with an amicable seperation.

Husband has previously been controlling and aggressive, has some sort of undiagnosed depression/my problem. Incredibly reactive and unreasonable at times yet would put on a good front.

Just wondering how it works, if it was successful

I did but it did make me realise there was no point as ex kept lying within sessions. He continued going on his own though after I stopped going with him and it seems to have helped him a lot. Good luck

Has she met your H? I think she needs separate sessions at least to determine if amicable is achievable.

If your H has been abusive I don't think it's sensible as he will just use the platform to your detriment.
I had mediation with an unreasonable & aggressive ex.It was on reflection traumatic.He would not listen to the mediator so it was pointless.

My advice is to assess if he is demonstrating he wants the separation to be amciable otherwise there is little point.

My fear is that the face the husband will put on is in no way a true reflect tron of how he is with me. He can be very charming and while the counsellor is very good, and male, I'm not sure what it wold achieve.

I have a certain amount of sessions free, I couldn't afford to pay and H would refuse to pay. I wonder if I'll get more from the sessions alone.

I went to try and make my dh see we were over.
Dubious looking therapist in socks and sandals told me I had hang ups about not wanting sex!!
Eh no fuck face I just don't want to sleep with dh!!
Never went back.
Did leave him tho took 2 years to gain the nerve.

You describe my life so well!!!

I have the advantage of having had a few sessions with him already and I like him. He's dressed pretty normally.....

He's already told me I'm in an abusive relationship, which was helpful (it was) and talking it through has really helped me feel stronger. I'm loathe to "share" it or ruin it with husbands presence but feel he will need some help working out how to behave post seperation.

In light of his behaviour so far I feel we will really need some help. But I'm other sure he'd go.