Sister-in-laws ask too many details about your life and children

[pomegranate1975]

What do you do when your sister-in-laws ask too many details about your life and children, and you are uncomfortable answering?

They are very competitive and i always try to avoid seeing them as often. As when i do see them they bombard me with what level is my son swimming level, or is he doing tutoring? Where is it ? What is it called? Its non stop. They dont ask their brother but come to me.
They are nice in laws but very inquistive to the point i avoid them when i am alone with them as thats when the questions come out,.
I feel they do it because they want to compare their children to mine and they their kids catch up to mine and they want to know updates. I have avoided them for a while or i walk away, and then they get their kids to ask me.

"Eh you're a nosey fucker aren't you?"
And smile!!

What does it matter? Just answer the questions. I can’t imagine not answering a question like this from a family member or friend. They are family not someone in the chemist!

I had a friend like this. They once even accused me of being competitive.

Always wanting to know what book band my DC was on. Always interfering in kids' friendships. Always asking about my DC handwriting progress. Always manipulating.

Keep your distance from this sort of toxicity.

Oh gosh I can't remember the details!

Just say you can’t remember levels etc off the top of your head as you don’t tend to focus on that and waffle for as long as possible about how DS is really enjoying swimming/reading etc and it’s so lovely to see him happy and then talk about the things u want to talk about and leave little space for questions. Or just fire questions at them about their DC constantly so they don’t have chance to ask much about yours

I'd feed her deliberately misleading information & then be amused when it came back to me. If confronted, I would shrug it off as "I don't know quite how she got that idea."

Yes I'm a mischievous fecker.

Also, just quickly turn it around, many people really just want excuses to talk about themselves & their own.

"I guess my son is doing ok" (he actually got his 5000m distance badge last week). "How is your kid doing at swimming? Does he enjoy it?"

"I can't remember what colour band she's on, She seems to like reading." (She's actually been a free reader for 6 months & I can't drag her nose out of a book). "What has your daughter read recently?"

Give them opportunities to brag. Then be amused that status is so important to them in the info they like to share.

'Oh I can't remember- hang on' (shout to your DH/their brother) - 'DH what swimming level is DS on? Your sister has asked about five times and is desperate to know and I just can't remember! Also she REALLY needs to know about tutors- can you get her any details?'

If they want to compete but don't want their family member knowing, this will kill it stone dead!