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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Im loosing my mind im in the most bizzare situation.

13 replies

Calvin112 · 20/10/2017 14:05

Ok so i had a close circle of friends until upto a year ago. I met this girl shes 24 and im 18, she lives up the road from me we started talking then got together it was very unexpected after im with her for about 2 months i find out through my friends she slept with all of them at least a month before we got together. All 4. Does that mean im the numpty who fell for her and stayed? Did she really want me or would she of got with them if they wanted a relationship? Is she comparing me? Ive since cut them off because they just used to laugh at me for being with her and taking the piss out of me i stayed with her because i love the woman she is but she says they was just a mistake and her head was messed up at the time but she slept with them all more that once and unprotected ive never know any situaution like this i need help i cant talk to knowone about it and it kills me. Please help me i love her.

OP posts:
gamerchick · 20/10/2017 14:09

They may take the piss but they all slept with her in a short space of time. What does that say about them? That they take advantage?

Msqueen33 · 20/10/2017 14:11

I would say use protection and get an sti test

elliemillie · 20/10/2017 14:16

I don't think love is enough if they are making fun of you sadly.
I think you are still young and you will fall in love with other women long after she is gone.
You all still live close to each other so I don't see how any good will come if it

BoomBoomBoomBoooom · 20/10/2017 14:33

I wouldn't sack off all of my friends for a man who'd shagged them all.

Are they all the same age as you? I find it odd a 24year old woman would be chasing teenagers- You must have been 17 a year ago, were some of you still at school?

cakecakecheese · 20/10/2017 14:34

If you are happy with her then try to move on from her past and tell your friends to shush.

Also I agree about the STI test and please use condoms.

Original poster
Calvin112 · 20/10/2017 18:44

Hey guys thanks for advice all my friend are her age they say im mature for my age...

OP posts:
NotTheFordType · 20/10/2017 21:11

Your "friends" sound like prats. Presumably they aren't castigating themselves for having unprotected casual sex? So why are they slagging her off?

At the age of 18 you have to accept that if you get with a woman 6 years older than you, she's going to have a significantly higher number of sexual partners than you. But why does it matter? If you make each other happy and support each other, that's all that counts.

Both of you should get an STI check before ditching the condoms.

Be3Al2Si6O18 · 20/10/2017 23:42

Agree with Ford

Also, be aware that unprotected sex leads to babies. If you love a woman, you love her babies. Whether or not they are yours. That goes with the territory. A 24 year old woman may want babies sooner than you do. Especially if you are not ready.

LemonysSnicket · 20/10/2017 23:44

Who cares? It was sex not undying love. They’re ribbing you because hats what mates do ...

People have sex, you weren’t together, and sometimes it doesn’t have to bloody mean anything ... she may not even have liked them but just fancied them. If you’re in love then enjoy it and talk to your mates ...

LemonysSnicket · 20/10/2017 23:46

Although tbh I’m 22 and wouldn’t go near an 18yo, let alone 17yo at time of instigation, bloke with a barge pole ... seems a bit weird to me

SparklingRaspberry · 20/10/2017 23:47

So your mates are criticising her for sleeping around but they were quite happy to have sex with her? Hmm

Very shocked at some of the sexist replies on here as well!

Yes unprotected sex does lead to pregnancy and diseases so until you're both clear on tests make sure you protect yourself.

We all have different morals however all this happened BEFORE you got together. She was single, she wasn't hurting or cheating on anybody. This woman is no worse than your friends and to be honest they all sound like immature idiots anyway

Next time they laugh at you for being "the idiot who stayed with her" perhaps laugh at them beck as they're the idiots who couldn't keep her Wink

GriefLeavesItsMark · 21/10/2017 00:22

Tbh you don't come across as very mature, Anyway, get yourself some new friends.

Annoyed5678 · 21/10/2017 07:16

I don't think its your friend's you should have issue with, its your girlfriend. She chose to sleep with not one but several of them putting you inna position of a relationship after she knew what she did, how your friends have been since. I would get your friendships back no relationship should cost you that, meant to enhance your life. I think you've over invested in this and all you got in return is being a local laughing stock. Find a more sensible woman plenty out there

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