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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Has anyone close to you been so mentally ill you had to section them?

45 replies

KevinKnowsImMiserable · 06/10/2017 21:27

If so, how did you find that experience?

DId you question yourself or feel guilty in any way?

I'm only asking as I had to do this many years ago and never let myself think about it. I wonder how I should have felt about it.

Also, how common it is to have to do this? It felt like a lonely experience at the time, but perhaps it's more common than I think?

OP posts:
MummySparkle · 06/10/2017 21:29

My parents sectioned me. No idea how they felt / feel about it though - they don’t talk about feelings (part of the problem)

In recent years DH would have had me sectioned, I was hospitalised at the time and it would have been the only way to keep me safe if I hadn’t managed to hang on to a shred of sanity and turn things around

ForeverLivingMyArse · 06/10/2017 21:31

I've never been there personally but have been around situations similar. It must be heartbreaking and a last resort but in the best interests, or it wouldn't happen.

fantasmasgoria1 · 06/10/2017 21:32

I had to agree to my brother being detained under a section of the mental health act and he asked me why I did. I told him that if I had not they would have gone to court to gain permission in any case! I didn’t feel guilty because he really needed the treatment!

Original poster
KevinKnowsImMiserable · 06/10/2017 21:35

Thank you.

Fantas, mine was also a sibling and it was on the basis of protecting him as he was having a psychotic episode.

I was only 18 when I sectioned him (I was the only NOK in the same country as him at the time).

I've just never really thought about it before. How it felt etc.

Mummysparkle, I'm sorry you went through that.

OP posts:
Original poster
KevinKnowsImMiserable · 06/10/2017 21:36

"when I sectioned him"

I don't even know if that's the right terminology, apologies if isn't.

It was 20 years ago and I took him for medical help as he was displaying really worrying behaviour. He didn't accept that there was anything wrong with him and so someone had to sign the forms to agree to him being admitted. And that was me.

OP posts:
gamerchick · 06/10/2017 21:42

Yes, she’s still there 17 months later. Every 6 months its renewed with my permission.

I feel no guilt about doing it.

karalime · 06/10/2017 21:51

My mum 'had' my dad sectioned and he has been in hospital multiple times.

There's an episode of Peep Show around the subject actually which is pretty funny and true - you don't just 'get people sectioned'. They wouldn't be sectioned by the medical professionals without good reason.

If my dad had not been sectioned he would probably be dead or in prison by now. Instead he is doing well and having a good life.

OstentatiousWanking · 06/10/2017 21:51

You did the right thing Flowers

BifsWif · 06/10/2017 22:08

You absolutely did the right thing. I had to have someone sectioned through work once, it was awful but I feel no guilt.

MummySparkle · 06/10/2017 22:10

Gamerchick, I think I remember you from. Did you post around the time when it happened? Your name is familiar Flowers

I have no resentment towards my family for it. I mean it’s sad knowing that I may not be allowed to visit some countries as it’s harder to get a visa with a section 3 in your record. But frankly at the time I was not safe, and the staff on the unit were unable to keep me safe without breaching my human rights unless I was under a section. It still requires a team of 2 doctors and a mental health social worker to all agree to it. I never knew at the time that my next of kin had the power to refuse for under 18s until much later.

greenclouds · 06/10/2017 22:15

My Mum.
Was the worst thing I've ever had to do.
The scary thing was at that point she was so ill she thought she was fine.
When she was first admitted,
Sent me a big long text about the journey in, the food.. Right at the end says "I'll never forgive you for this"
There have been some voluntary stays since nothing for last 4 years thankfully.
7 years on she realises I did what I had to do & it's all good.

catrin · 06/10/2017 22:21

I have. Twice. I'd do it again tomorrow. Not only keeps him safe, but also other people. We aren't supposed to say how shit mental health issues are for anyone other than the sufferer, but my god, it's fucking horrendous and we are horrid people for saying so.

greenclouds · 06/10/2017 22:28

There's nothing horrid at all admitting how difficult dealing with someone who is mentally ill is.
It's awful, you can't do right for doing wrong. You feel constant guilt as well as the fear they'll do something horrific.

Itsjustaphase84 · 06/10/2017 22:34

My dad had my mum sectioned. Had to as she needed help and was scaring her kids. She never forgave him for it but he didn't regret it as he had to do what was needed and for the best. Always brought up in arguments. He always told me it was very tough to do. I was too young to understand but he was right.

colouringinagain · 06/10/2017 22:38

I had to have my OH sectioned last December after a very traumatic day. It was essential and I've never felt guilty.

Unfortunately sectioning someone doesn't guarantee treatment and it was 24 hours later that a bed was found. Completely horrendous, traumatic weekend.

Be kind to yourself. If someone's so ill that two psychiatrists agree they should be in hospital then you must not feel guilty. It will be for their safety and those around them.

greenclouds · 06/10/2017 22:42

A big factor is if someone is not on the correct medication / receiving the right help it can be addressed a lot better in hospital,
the likes of fast withdrawal to try a new medication as it's a supervised, safe environment.

DaisysStew · 06/10/2017 22:42

I was in a similar situation. Someone in the midst of psychosis, had attempted suicide and I tried to get help. Person saw me as a traitor and the hospital threw us out as when she regained consciousness she told a nurse to fuck off. Person never fully trusted me again and they received no help. I lost her a few years later and still feel sick when I think about that day.

Despite the guilt it was the right thing to do (or would have been if the hospital had helped). You doing that may have saved your brothers life, that's all that matters.

springydaffs · 06/10/2017 23:35

Daisy Flowers

deadringer · 06/10/2017 23:45

Yes my older brother. Not sure if the system is similar in the UK but here in Ireland it's almost impossible to get someone sectioned. He wasn't suicidal or a danger to others but he was very ill indeed and was putting himself in danger. I feel no guilt at all. He is on meds now and doing well.

EssexMummy123456 · 06/10/2017 23:53

Friends and relatives cannot in the UK section anyone, all they can do is get the professionals involved, a close relative of mine (NOK) was sectioned however it was not my choice, it was two doctors and a social worker that came to the conclusion that sectioning was necessary and they kept me informed and asked for my input when appropriate - this was in addition to the police/GP/local mental health support team all being involved. It really isn't something that a relative can just demand by themselves.

Original poster
KevinKnowsImMiserable · 06/10/2017 23:56

Thank you all.

Deadringer, I hope you don't mind me seizing on your post but it was in Ireland that all this happened...

All I can remember is that I took my brother to my GP as he was displaying psychotic behaviour (about a week after a suicide attempt and deep depression).

The GP met my brother and I, whilst he was in that state, and agreed that he was dangerous. As my brother would not accept that he was ill I had to officially sign papers as his sister to say that I agreed with him being taken into mental care...he was then transferred to a psychitatric unit.

This was in republic of Ireland 1997...would it have been very hard to have had him sectioned then? I'm sorry, I'm in therapy at the moment and trying to piece together various experiences from the past and I remember sectioning him and it being a big thing to convince them that he was ill.

OP posts:
therealpippi · 07/10/2017 00:10

We tried but they did not think it was serious enough. 24h later it was too late.

You did the right thing.

colouringinagain · 07/10/2017 00:17

Flowers pippi

bringbacksideburns · 07/10/2017 00:29

Therealpippi - so sad, I'm sorry x

I can only remember feeling tremendous relief more than guilt. Probably because it took over 6 years to get to that point and nearly broke us all. I can still remember the horrible knot of anxiety I had to live with daily though, constantly worrying about that person and how they were affecting other people, wondering if the nightmare would ever end.

I don't know of anyone else who has been through it but considering 1 in 4 of us have mental health problems and we still feel we can't talk openly about it in society without stigma - maybe I do actually know someone but they have never mentioned it?

I don't regret it for one moment- and in the end we didn't have to do anything, the doctor at the hospital finally decided the person needed help. And they finally got their life back.

deadringer · 07/10/2017 01:25

Hi Kevin, with my brother it was about 10 years ago. It took us (the family) two years to get him committed, he wasn't suicidal but he was paranoid, physchotic and delusional, he was sleeping rough and was beaten up a couple of times so he was definitely in danger. He doesn't drink or take drugs, but always had some sort of learning difficulties/mental health issues though he has never been diagnosed. His breakdown began when he was illegally evicted from his flat, it's a long story but the landlord wanted to sell up and pretty much terrorised and gaslighted the tenants until they all left one by one. My db was the last to leave and we think the stress of the whole thing brought on a psychotic episode. Unfortunately we didn't know until after the fact. It was so, so hard to get anyone to listen to us once we realised how ill he was. He wouldn't engage with us or accept help, we had to get him arrested to get him examined by a doctor, the first time the police doctor said he was fine, the second time we managed to get a psychiatrist to examine him and she said he was just eccentric, the third time the doctor agreed to sign him in but we couldn't get a doctor to co- sign. He got so bad that he didn't even recognise us when we spoke to him in the street, yet they kept telling us he was fine. If he had been suicidal I think we would have got him in much quicker. Eventually after much toing and froing between the police, the hse, and his doctor, we managed it. As I understood it the reason it is so difficult is because you could have an ulterior motive in getting someone 'put away'. It was a dreadful time but I have to say the police were terrific, they did everything they could to watch out for him. He has his own little flat now, he is on long term disability and as I say he is on meds and stable. He doesn't seem to remember much from that time, and he doesn't hold it against us. I am pretty sure he would be dead by now if we hadn't had him sectioned, either from exposure or an attack. I have no regrets and I am sure you did the right thing for your brother.