Why am I so bloody stupid?!

[Makkapakkasmum]

Just a rant!

Me and EXDP have moved back in together and everything has been lovely and we've been working on rebuilding our relationship.

However, I snooped (I know I shouldn't have but he left his laptop open) and I viewed a conversation between him and an older women where he is begging her for a place to stay as he is out on Saturday night and he needs a good ride apparently. I know I shouldn't have been snooping but this proves my gut instinct was correct and he has been deleting messages as he's been sending/receiving them - we also have no money at the moment and I've had to use a food bank today so for him to be going out on the weekend I think is taking the mickey somewhat ! I know I need to get rid but I'm not sure how to broach the subject etc - I'm shaking with anger right now 😓

What's the living situation? Do you own or rent, and whose house or tenancy is it? I'm assuming you want to end things, so I'd just get everything in order first.

Private rent - everything's in my name

Just ask him to move out. Just tell him it's not working and he needs to move out.

Or, preferably pack up all his stuff and tell him to take it to OW's house with him on Saturday night.

Thanks just need to build up the courage he's not back from work yet - I should add the OW is rejecting him at the moment but seems he won't take no for an answer. This isn't the first time this has happened I'm not even upset for me as I've been expecting it it's the 2 DC I feel for

Tell him to get out and get lost. You're going to the food bank while he's spending money on drink? Even without him trying to get off with other women, he's useless.

How do you not have money for food if he can afford to go out??
Does he control finances as well?

Thankfully then you're in a very strong position.

I'd be totally brazen and say "I've seen your sad, desperate messages to X - totally unacceptable. Pack your shit and GTFO, right now."

If you're worried that he's going to pull the "Oh babe you're imagining it, you probably had a dream that you read it, I will totally show you my phone right now, I love you babe" gaslighting shit, and you're likely to fall for it, then have a friend with you when you tell him to fuck off, and tell him/her everything so they can support you and threaten to slap him up the side of the head with a bag of wet dogshit

As for your children, you show them that you ‘feel’ for them by not letting your relationship with this poor excuse for a man be their primary relationship role model.

Make this the last time you fall for his shit.

He needs to be shown the door. Off spending money while you are at a food bank. He is vile. I'd pack his bags and send him on his way. There is no excuse for it.