Children's relationship with their father.

[Dreamscared]

Both teenagers.

Not seen Dad in at least eight years as he says it upsets him too much to say bye to them. No maintenance, no presents, no calls and half yearly at best social media contact.

The kids no longer have any interest in speaking to him. He won't take that well and it will be my fault as he will just accuse me of turning them against him despite the fact I've never had mouthed him to them,paid his train fare for months for him to come and have until now asked them to reply to his messages.

Do i continue to make them answer his messages or leave them to it?

Nope. Definitely not. I've been here and my eldest 2, now adults, have nothing whatsoever to do with him. Their choice. Once kids are about 12 and above you have absolutely no need to be involved IN ANY WAY with the arrangements to maintain a relationship between them and their father. It's up to him to sort if they want to, and for them to decide if they don't. Screw what he thinks. He'll think bad of you regardless, even if you were ex wife of the year, if he's anything like my cock of an ex so let him crack on.

Leave them to it. He sounds incredibly self absorbed and he's putting himself before his children. He can hardly be surprised. You reap what you sow.

I stopped having contact with my father when I was eleven or twelve years old and my younger siblings followed suit within a couple of years. He did the whole 'you've turned the children against me' but we were fully aware how much had been done by my mother to facilitate contact. She never bad mouthed him, even though he'd been incredibly abusive.