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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

I'm sad and I know it

24 replies

Barbaro · 23/08/2017 19:56

Different kind of sad, pathetic basically haha. My boyfriend has gone on holiday with the lads and I miss him already. Only been together 4 months, but spent pretty much every weekend together since, and he's recently been staying over for a 4/5 day 'weekend'. Too much time together for most yes, but we are happy with it. I just miss him now when he's gone. I'm sure he's missing me too in a way, but obviously he has his friends to distract him. Just going to distract myself too while he is gone. Got stuff planned so that's good.

Slightly happier thread from the norm in a way. This time apart is good for us, and got the time when we are reunited to look forward to.

OP posts:

MollyWantsACracker · 23/08/2017 20:01

Awww that's cute & I am sure he's missing you too.

However PLEASE use the time to reconnect with your own friends and plan stuff for you. Hold onto yourself x

Original poster

Barbaro · 23/08/2017 20:06

Oh I will and I do find some time for them too. Just been harder with him around now but still possible. Like I say I have stuff planned for the weekend already, probably go to the cinema on Sunday and I am working the bank holiday so it's not too bad, just miss him.

OP posts:

TheNaze73 · 23/08/2017 20:10

I ageee with Molly, reconnect with your own friends and see this as an opportunity to have a great time yourself

Original poster

Barbaro · 25/08/2017 12:41

Well don't think he is missing me too much. Not replying to texts anymore since he got to the hotel. Ignored the one that had 'I love you' in it too which hurts a bit. Especially when the next day I got a random one from him saying 'don't lose them', so it's not like he can't send texts.

Guess it's a case of out of sight, out of mind, which doesn't bode well. I don't expect him to be texting all day but just a quick 'hey how are you, had fun today blah blah' would be nice, I would do that.

I haven't texted too much either, all I've sent that have had no reply is what I've mentioned. We usually text all day everyday or find some way to talk if it's not that so it's not the norm for him to just ignore me.

Guess I'll find out when he is back if he cares or not. At this point I don't.

OP posts:

magicstar1 · 25/08/2017 12:44

Well that didn't take long! He's on holiday...he's probably distracted by his friends.

TheNaze73 · 25/08/2017 13:58

Leave him alone, he's on holiday.

Focus on you and have a great time with your friends.

Not saying this about you however, if someone came on here & posted, I've been with a partner for 4 months & I'm away with my friends in holiday & they're bombarding me with texts & telling me they love me after such a short space of time, the buzz words if the replies would be "possessive", "controlling" & "red flags"

Smoke the peace pipe, chill & enjoy your bank holiday. Don't be the needy partner. There's nothing more off putting.

Good luck

Original poster

Barbaro · 25/08/2017 14:27

I could get that TheNaze but I've sent him two texts, both times in reply to his ones, and he said I love you first ages ago.

I just thought I would get a few texts now and again as he had said he was going to be sending me loads of pics to show how much fun he was having to make me jealous (in jest you know not out of spite). So I was expecting that kind of thing, nothing wasn't what I expected and it's thrown me a bit as it's not what he is usually like. Even when he is with his friends here he texts me. I tell him to go and pay attention to them and he just goes nah it's fine I can do both. So this is just way outside of normal for him, but guess this is holiday him.

OP posts:

SomeBerryJam · 25/08/2017 14:33

Where has he gone and how many mates are with him?

Original poster

Barbaro · 25/08/2017 14:39

Greece and 6/7 can't remember the exact number.

OP posts:

Giraffey1 · 25/08/2017 14:44

It's nice that you miss him but you need to chill. You've only been with him for 16 weeks and he is on holiday with the lads! Do you think he is glued to the phone waiting for your messages? No, he'll be planning the next beach trip or bar outing, or deciding where they're going to grab dinner and so on. Don't suffocate him!

If he is on the phone to you every five minutes, he'll never live it down with his mates ,,,,, give him space.

Original poster

Barbaro · 25/08/2017 15:48

Yeah if he texts back which is unlikely then I'll just ignore it and leave him to have fun. Will have a good weekend with friends and maybe see him next weekend, or just have another one to myself. :)

OP posts:

LesisMiserable · 25/08/2017 15:56

Oh OP don't be that girl. Unless you're 15.

Pancakeflipper · 25/08/2017 16:01

You are overthinking this.Why the doubts when the initial post was all lovely...

I hope I am wrong but some of your words have red flags waving to me. Chill.

JK1773 · 25/08/2017 16:03

Pull yourself together OP. Declarations of love after 4 months is a bit heavy imo. I'm sure you'll hear from him later in the week at some point. Don't ignore his messages either, that's just childish. He'll think your sulking and you'll put a dampener on his holiday. Just chill out

grobagsforever · 25/08/2017 18:43

My boyfriend of two years is on holiday with his children. I've had a text about every other day. He's zoning out it and spending time with his kids. It's fine. You really need to just chill.

Forgettheworld · 25/08/2017 18:58

If I was him and saw what you've wrote here I would run for the hills

AvocadoQueen · 26/08/2017 10:51

Really? I've never been in a relationship where you happily spend loads of time together and then just because one of you goes on holiday all of a sudden you should expect to hear nothing from them.

Reduced or delayed contact fair enough, but I wouldn't expect to be ignored.

Original poster

Barbaro · 31/08/2017 18:42

Well think I found out the reason for his silence. He went to a strip club with the guys and think he was worried about what I think.

Not sure how I feel. He went to one before we got together and swore he would never go again, although I never made him do that, I never even asked him to never go to one again. But the fact he did despite saying he never would is a bit weird.

Plus he said he bought his mate a strip as his mate is autistic and would find it difficult to ask, but his mate had no problem managing to get two girls? I find this all with the silence a bit odd.

OP posts:

mylittlepony6 · 31/08/2017 20:45

My DH got a private lap dance on a lads holiday. I was livid but we got over it. Discuss it when he gets home OP

Original poster

Barbaro · 31/08/2017 22:11

He is home thats how I know. I don't mind so much that he went, although I find it odd he promised to not go and then does anyway. But I don't fully believe he did nothing. Will ask tonight I think although I am gonna be accused of being stupid about it.

OP posts:

BusterGonad · 31/08/2017 22:19

Imo if all his mates went and he refused they may think it odd but I gave a different view than most MNetters on this subject, I mean a private lap dance is a whole new ball game and I'd hate that!

BusterGonad · 31/08/2017 22:20

I have, I mean!

Original poster

Barbaro · 02/09/2017 16:05

Yeah I suppose you are right buster. As far as I know nothing happened and I can't see him actually doing anything like that. Plus he'd be acting weird by now and theres no signs of oddness so I'll just leave it. Cheers everyone.

OP posts:

BusterGonad · 02/09/2017 17:21

Just try to chill out a bit and go with the natural flow of a new and exciting relationship! Good luck

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