why is my ex suddenly agreeing to pay CM? V suspicious!

[donners312]

My narc ex has refused to pay maintenance for 2 years now, he has fraudulently used my CC and would not pay ANYTHING for the children!

He even took me to court to withdraw DC from private school.

Suddenly announced he will start contributing? totally suspicious!!

What do you think - there are no changes in his circumstances and he definitely hasn't suddenly got a conscience.

I don't know. Narcs only ever do things to make them look good.

I would suggest that there is at least one change in his life. It's just that you don't know about it. No idea what it is though.

New girlfriend he doesn't want knowing he's a deadbeat?

Maybe has a new GF he wants to impress? I'd also expect him to start requesting access if he doesn't already see his child.

Is the tax man after him so needs to show he's got more outgoing payments ?

It's bound to be a reason that benefits him.

My friends ex husband did this, child support actually went in and took the money before he got paid his wages via his employer. Child support also took his tax returns each year until the arrears were backpaid for outstanding child support owed. Could this be a reason of the sudden change ?

Redannie Can I just say I genuinely do not know how you do that job.

How do you sit there and make mums (and Dads too in some cases) wait 3 months for this, 3 months for that. I have literally cried on the phone to my CMS caseworker today as she is doing a grand total of ZERO to help me. She can SEE my ex is lying. Grrr sorry OP. Not trying to hijack this thread just still seething x

I don't think that's RedAnnie's fault though is it? Especially since she's trying to use her expertise to help someone with a query here.

JustDont I've had a CMS case open for over a year and they've never got me a penny they don't seem to be willing to use any of their powers so I wouldn't hold your breath.

That's not a fair comment to red Annie. It's a difficult and important job, people who do it well need support and understanding from the public not criticism.

It's like saying to someone " how can you work for the NHS because my friend once waited 3 hours in A and E " .

If you think your case worker isn't doing her job properly, use their complaints service or speak to her line manager.

I'm sorry for your troubles but it's not fair it put it on Red Annie.

I've only good things to say about the CMS. Yes, I have had to wait. A long time, but they pursued my ex doggedly, and I now get payments for my two dc. Also, the caseworkers have clearly been happy for me, happy to impart good news when they told me what was going to happen. One of them did say 'it's nice to give good news for a change' so I'm guessing I may be in the minority...

I'm sorry, but I'd also be in the "no good things to say about them" camp if we're talking about the CMS. If I did my job as poorly as the people there (that I've had contact with) then I'd no longer be working. Consistently don't call back and have never delivered on promised commitments.

OP - sorry for the derail. Does it matter what the reason is as long as you're getting a contribution now?

thanks for all your comments.

There does seem t one a girlfriend on the scene (who is bloody rich) so yes he might be trying to impress her but TBH I think she has been around a while and i also think she helped to fleece me when we got divorced (another story) so not sure she is such a nice person.

I suspect he might have a job and doesn't want me to chase him through court or CMS? He has claimed to be unemployed last two years so reckon it might be that???

sorry to all of you with similar stories.

Yes it could be that he knows he will pay more if you go through the CMS so he wants to avoid that.

Another possible reason is he wants residency of the children or more contact so he is trying to pain the picture of the perfect dad. Is that likely?

well funny enough he hasn't bothered with them for the past two years and now all of a sudden wants to seethe and has turned up for the last 2 contacts - something he failed to do before.

it is all totally out of character and i am 100% sure he hasn't developed a conscience just totally suspicious.

Does the rich girlfriend have children?

If mine suddenly volunteered to pay anything at all, I would suspect a head injury...

his rich GF does have 2 children - lovegaultier.

Welsh -yep there is definitely something wrong with him!!!

or he could just be fucking with me, he makes a lot of promises and doesn't follow thorough with them so it could be that i guess.

He looks like the shit he is if he doesn't see or pay for his children, especially considering she has children herself and would be disgusted.

That will be the reason.

Coral I wasn't doing that calm down! I just said I don't know how you cope with the grief you must get! Jesus Christ..........

Wait and see if the money actually materialises!