AIBU to expect my step-daughters to clean up after themselves?

[ZsaZsa16]

I have three daughters, and two step-daughters. I have taught my daughters to be respectful and to clean up after themselves, specifically to hygienically dispose of used sanitary items by putting them in a sealed nappy sack before placing in the bin. I have a long running dispute with my step-daughters where they refuse to do this, and simply dispose of their items in the bin. I feel aggrieved that I am constantly cleaning up after them, and frankly this makes my stomach turn. It's got to the point where my husband will clean the bin to avoid an argument, but my point is that they need to learn, otherwise they will expect other people to do things for them all their life. AIBU?

Why is your husband picking up after them?!
Sounds like they've worked out that dad will pick up and then you can be the nagging step mam.

You are not not not being unreasonable.

No they should put them in a bag. I'd make my daughters clean the bin out if they did that.
I leave nappy sacks in my daughters drawer so she has her own stash..

That is absolutely repulsive and so disrespectful. It's time to put your foot down and demand these wretched girls be taught to clean up after themselves.

Aren't there bin liners in the bin? Doesn't it have a lid?

Is that not a load of unnecessary plastic waste though? I suggest one bin liner in the bin and wrap st's in a piece of toilet tissue and into the bin. Whatever chance the st's have of biodegrading they have less sealed in a plastic bag, in a plastic bag in (presumeably) another plastic bag.

I put my used stuff directly into a lined bin. No nappy sack involved. Liner is lifted out of bin and goes outside. I don't see the problem. Why are you having to clean the bin?

dermot I'm more of a bin has a liner in it. Wrap in toilet roll and the packaging of the new item. (If I have to. Otherwise threads like this remind me why I love my moon cup)

Sounds like these girls aren't making any attempt to be hygienic though

I do what Dermotthesprog does too - your suggestion means far too much plastic! As a middle ground - is it possible to buy paper bags?

As an aside, what you say smacks a little of 'oh look how beautifully well brought up MY daughters are' which is a bit

You're probably shaming them by getting into such a battle.

I would sit them down and hear their side. Just listen to why they do as they do. Don't interject, just listen.

However I usually roll up my sanitary pads and put them in the kitchen bin tucked down to make sure that no one will inadvertently see it. I don't put it in the bathroom bin at all! Can they do that?

Yes, but I don't think I should have to empty it into the general waste, when they don't hygienically dispose of their products in a nappy sack. Frankly it makes me retch. My own DD's don't do this.

You're being a bit of a princess really aren't you. If you have a liner in your bin then all you need to do is tie the liner and chuck it in the wheelie bin. You don't have to touch anything and your bin won't need cleaned. Do you not use bin liners?

As an aside, what you say smacks a little of 'oh look how beautifully well brought up MY daughters are' which is a bit hmm

It really does!

I haven't regularly confronted them at all, it isn't fair. Also, I don't like that scenario, however, it does cause me grief, and the way I've dealt with it is to ask their father to ask them to dispose of the items hygienically. There have been other issues with keeping their areas clean - as in their bedroom, so it is an ongoing thing, and I, genuinely am not being precious about "them and us"

Do you have bin liners in your bathroom bin?

Why do they need to use nappy sacks?

Just wrap in toilet paper and put them in the bin - there's no need to use even more plastic just to dispose of them!

Your girls are so much better brought up and obviously their mum is way superior to the step children's mum it's really no wonder the relationship broke down and he's found himself someone so much better so keep on you're an amazing person and so so so much better than them (and their mother).

There. Isn't that what you wanted to hear?

Different people do thinks differently. Several people have told you they throw towels etc into a lined bin. Are you saying they are all disgusting?

OP I agree with PPs about the amount of plastic you seem to find necessary - I use toilet paper and have a bin with a swingy hinged lid, but also am the only one to use that bathroom so no one but me has to go near my rubbish, so maybe what you do is normal in a shared bathroom.
Given your very strong reaction when emptying the bin, are we talking (excuse the bluntness but it might make a difference to people's responses here) a blood-soaked pad lying face up on the top of an open bin where everyone has to see it, or are the items sort of rolled up and tucked down the side of the bin so are only visible to go if you tip the whole bin upside down and pour the contents into a larger kitchen bin?
If the latter, give them their own bathroom bin and make sure it has a bin liner. When they leave, if they forget to clean it out, all it would require is their dad to tie the ends and dispose of it without having to look at it all.
If the former - and this is just me so would be a nasty thing to do - invite other people around so they see the grossness too and your DSDs realise any normal person would be disgusted having to see it all the time.

I am retching at the thought of all the plastic you are using unnecessarily. It makes me sick to see waste like that.

How about using the biodegradable food sacks you use for recycling food?

zsazsa your daughters do sound like they have been brought up better to me!
I do the same as you and dispose of them in a nappy bag (into a lined bin! ) otherwise you would have to empty the bin twice a day to stop it smelling!
I think you are getting an unnecessary kicking from the plastic police

when they don't hygienically dispose of their products in a nappy sack. Frankly it makes me retch
I think you're being a little dramatic and sensitive on this.

I'm wondering the same as pasta. If they are leaving soiled items around the place and not wrapped up then it's disgusting and unhygienic.

But if they're rolling/wrapping in some toilet paper or the external wrapping of the new pad then I think you're just fussing. Your girls will do what you've brought them up to do. It doesn't make them better. If you think disposing of sanitary products in any way other than yours is disgusting then I think you are high maintenence.

I don't think the op is being dramatic at all, once we're old enough to deal with our own bodily waste it's not fair to expect someone else to clean up after us.
I bet op would have got very different answers if she'd posted that the dsd' s were taking a shit and leaving for op to flush..

felicity
The OP hasn't said what the issue is other than "they don't dispose of things my way which involves death by bags".

As ive said if they are leaving soiled items around then yes that's unhygienic (and similar to leaving the loo full and unflushed)

But if they're disposing of them in toilet roll and placing in a lined bin then the OP is just being dramatic.

She hasn't (that I can see) explained what the stepchildren are doing that requires her to have DH clean the bin, which surely has a bin bag in it?!
All she's saying is they aren't doing it her way with added "arent my chilsren best"

I have never heard of using nappy bags for sanitary towels and I have shared houses with women for years. Sounds Unnecessary to me. Unless they are leaving them around which they don't appear to do, I don't see the problem.

Yes they should absolutely clean up after themselves and dispose of their sanpro hygienically but hygienically doesn't necessarily involve nappy bags. Do they wrap them or roll them at all or leave them just there? If they just leave them then that is gross and needs to be stopped. But if they roll them up or wrap them up and put them in the bin then I see no problem. Is there a bin bag in your bin?

I'd like to know the answer to Pasta's post as well.