Hi everyone,
Its my first time posting on a thread and im not sure ive done it correctly. I really need advice..i have confided in my two best friends and i think even they are exhausted listening to me and trying to help me get over this.
I have been married to my husband (dont know the abbreviated terms) for 10 years, we have two children and live a relatively happy normal life. I work part time and he works full time, thats an understatement, he works 16 hour days, comes home exhausted and over the years we have grown apart. I grew up in quite a deprived home and i know deep down he is only trying to give me the life i dreamed of (which makes things worse 😔)..i have been working in the same job for four years, and whilst its not very stimulating, i have massive flexibility and work with a decent bunch of people.
This is where the fun starts (not so fun now)....i always was attacted to a coworker and i know he was to me as well, he flirted a little on nights out but it never went any further, i even warned him away the next day. But something changed last november, we started messaging as friends and both our feelings started to grow, he confided in me that he has a child and has only stayed with his partner because of the child. I told him how i was incredibly lonely and my husband would often come home crabby and cruel. I told him about my husbands possessiveness and how he doesnt like me to have friends (i do have friends regardless- he doesnt) but at the Christmas party, one thing led to another and il let you guess the rest...its been going on 6 months and its more of an emotional affair than physical as we dont get any time together. The past month he became so distant, barely replying to messages and avoiding me. I called it a day out of self respect and he seemed so relieved. I am totally heartbroken. Worst still, i have to see him every day in work. He is acting totally normal meanwhile i am a mess and i know my husband knows something is up (hes accused me when hes drunk) my husband has never been violent towards me but he has grabbed me a few times and my friends have warned me i cant tell him as they are worried for my safety. Leaving my job isnt an option as i am well paid and given so much freedom my husband will know there's a reason. Please help, im struggling to pretend to be happy when all i want to do is cry (and i know ive brought it all on myself) thank you for reading