Second wives...

[Thinkingloads]

Would it bother you if all plans you made with H, he then discussed in detail with his ExW?

Fizzy has it. Do what she says..

Is it not a massive headfuck to have this going on under your nose and he's blaming you, saying you're the one with the problem. I mean

Another vote for what a Fizzy says. This is absurd, he's not over her, and honestly - its not you, it's him!

Hes not over her. Doesnt sound like he plans to start that process either.

Oh OP, he's clearly not over her

X

Op the last time I spoke to exH was to tell him to sign the divorce papers , or else!
I would not be happy about this at all.
Who left/orchestrated the split? him or her?

It was a joint decision, both decided it wasn't working and then H decided to push it to divorce. Work has taken my mind off it all today, got to try and get my head around what to do next because I am sick of if. Thank you all for your responses x

File for divorce and name her as a reason in the papers. Leave them to it and find someone who deserves you

Oh that sucks big time. There are loads on here that will give you lots of advice. . I know it's cold comfort but you're well out of this.