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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is this a sign of strength or weakness?

11 replies

ComplexCookie · 02/06/2017 18:49

Hi,

Would appreciate some advice please.

Long story short I met a guy OLD, we went for a drink got on well, he text afterwards and we arranged to go out the next week. On the morning of the date he text and cancelled due to illness in his family which meant he had to go away. Since then we have had texting conversations and he's very flirty but sometimes if I text him he doesn't reply. It drives him crackers however if he texts me and I don't reply. We often make preliminary plans to go out but on the day of the arrangement he either goes quiet or cancels for one reason or another. I called him out on it once before and he said he panics etc and he was really sorry because he really liked me. However, this week we were supposed to have plans this week and he let me down again stating he had rang me but my phone wasn't working. Turns out he had rang my old number.

Following this, I text him saying that it was getting complicated and not working out and that I was ending the contact. I blocked his number, mostly because I really fancy him despite his behaviour and I'm not sure I have enough control if he were to text not to reply. But I feel by blocking him, I am being a bit childish and showing him that he is bothering me. I think part of me also wants to he if he does message me which obviously I can't see if I block him!

So now I'm in a complete quandary about what to do and how to proceed with this whole thing. He has me demented Confused Wondered what other people thought of his behaviour etc and whether I am doing the right thing by blocking him?

OP posts:
Oldraver · 02/06/2017 18:53

I think you did the right thing. I wouldn't put up with someone standing me up all the time.

ElspethFlashman · 02/06/2017 18:54

No you did the right thing.

No time wasters need apply.

Mermaidinthesea123 · 02/06/2017 18:58

Dump.

ImperialBlether · 02/06/2017 18:58

If he has you demented now, he'll have you on anti-depressants or alcohol later. It's not a good sign.

AyeAmarok · 02/06/2017 18:59

Definitely did the right thing. 100%.

Aquamarine1029 · 02/06/2017 19:04

You definitely did the right thing. The guy is a flake. You don't need that kind of nonsense in your life. Trust me, the guy has problems.

ComplexCookie · 02/06/2017 19:07

Thank you for all of your posts. I feel a little better now. In the past friends have said I sabotage my own dating prospects due to lack of confidence about myself so I was second guessing my assessment of the situation and maybe over reacting so I am thankful for your reassurance xx

OP posts:
bluediamonds · 02/06/2017 19:30

You've done the right thing for sure, he is a loser!

ComplexCookie · 02/06/2017 20:15

Thank you. Dating is so complicated these days. I'm sure it used to be easier. I don't understand why people play these games. I don't have the time or the energy for them. Just would like someone nice to spend some time with when the teenagers are off doing their own thing!

OP posts:
josuk · 02/06/2017 20:18

And yet - you seem to like him, despite it all.
If you said - i told him and ended it. I'd have gone - good for you.
But needing to block him?

You could have told him - i like you bit thia isn't working for me. Let's meet in the same place like last time - and see if we should continue.
At least - this would have given him one last chance....

Is there something in his life-story that explains/justifies this sort of panic?

Seenoevil · 02/06/2017 21:02

I would of said I was ending contact but wouldn't of blocked him. partly as I would want to see any messages he sent but I just wouldn't reply, and I would want to see if he was bothered enough to even send any messages as well... but I'm really good at ignoring even if I like the person! Grin I hate to be thought of as a bunny boiler etc so I play it overly cool!

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