Domestic violent, twat going for custody - help

[Tiredofstruggling1]

Background, changed the locks and got his abusive arse out.

He is not on the birth certificate.

He is now asking to be added (wants parental responsibility) - can I refuse?

Yes you can refuse.
I've no idea of the legal route he would need to take though.
How old is DC?
How long have you been separated?
How much contact has he had with DC since the split?
Would he be abusive to DC?

Absolutely refuse! Someone bettee informed than me will be along shortly. I'd say time to get yourself a shit hot solictor!

If he can prove paternity then he can be added to the birth certificate. He has the legal right to pursue that.

How recently did he leave? Do you have any evidence of his abuse?
Now is the time to build a professional support network

He'd need a court order to compel you for a DNA test - that he'd have to pay for via a court approved company like Cellmark - so expensive. Then another court order to be added to the birth certificate and gain PR. Then another court order for access. Gaining access is a lengthy expensive process anyway without the extra he'd need to do. Court would look at his DV history etc. They are very thorough. Could take over a year.

Tell him to go to a solicitor.

I'll bet he doesn't bother once he realises monetary and time cost. Just another way to try and bully and or control you.

He can apply to have parental responsibility, and unless there are serious safeguarding reasons, he'll be successful.
How old roughly is your child? Do you have a plan for his contact?

Of course you can refuse. And I don't believe for one second he will go to any of the effort, cost and trouble of proving paternity, let alone going for custody. These men threaten that to scare you, not because they love their children or want to take any responsibility for them.

It actually makes me laugh when violent men who can't ignore their kids fast enough suddenly decide they're going to fight to take on almost all the responsibility for then. It's a scare tactic and nothing more. Posturing arsehole.

He's blustering. just stay calm and wait it out. I doubt he'll actually do anything about it.

By refuse, I mean you can refuse to add him with the situation as it is; as another poster points out, he can be added if he can prove paternity. I doubt he'll bother though.

Try not to panic, they ALWAYS do this.

Tell him to see a solicitor and try not to think about it.

Now he is out the house he'll try to make your life a misery. Every time he's at the door making a pest out of himself ring to police to come and remove him. Keep a log of everything.

Good luck.

Are you going to want/need maintenance from him? The flip side to the equation is that he can refuse the CMS on the grounds he's not on the BC. You'd then have to go through the DNA stuff to prove he's liable.

I don't know if that then makes his life easier with establishing PR or not but it removes the expense (for him) of testing.

What do you mean by abusive in the context of your relationship? You have DV in the subject - has this ever been reported to Police etc or will it just be your word against his? Proving he shouldn't have contact may be more difficult if there's not a history you can point to.

If you don't need the child support money, then I would just ignore him and let him pursue it through the courts if he wants.

Make sure you document any poor behaviour on his part, past and present as best you can.

Check out the child law advice line - even phone them if worried.

(1) He needs to get to know the child before PR is given

(2) family court is unlikely to change current residence arrangements

(3) birth re-registration apparently is done by a higher judge not the usual family court ones (been told that today by my solicitor)

Has he asked in writing or verbally?

He's winding you up. He'll get bored and move onto something else if you ignore.

Thanks all. He sent an email asking.

Go to your local women's refuge there will be an advisor there who can go through the legal process with you. You might be able to stop him from contacting you or pulling shit like this

Thank you all. Have had a threat on social media from his so called mate, threatening to physically assault me.

Report it to the police

The more of those you get the better your situation in court will be!

which you have screenshotted of course?

Any harassment you get, from any source, record and report.

Report the threat.

Yes screenshotted and backed up.

Sly devious pair tried to remove it and then deactivate social media site and it was too late, got screen shots.

My question.. If I am being made to feel threatened and intimated by him or his associates, do I have to facilitate contact or do I have grounds to back it off or make it in a public place rather than my home?

Tired dud you report the dv to police?? These messages will help.you later dowb tge line shpulf ypu need ro demobstate concerns over your child having contact. Regardless, report these messages to police - it's threatening behaviour. He can go to a solicitor if he's that bothered as already mentioned. This is purely about control. Using the child to control you & make your life a misery (can you tell I've been there?!) He can get stuffed!