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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Had drunken sex with my housemate last night. How do I stay living there whilst simultaneously never encountering him again?

22 replies

JovialNickname · 15/05/2017 15:27

This is the first thread I've started so please be gentle with me!

Title says it all really, but had drunken sex with my housemate last night (we didn't know each other before and are not friends beyond a quick "hi" - the landlord allocates the people that move in) and now I'm really embarrassed. Have spent the day hiding. Obviously this isn't sustainable so how can I handle it without feeling worse? I can't style it out as I will go bright red and jibber. It was a booty call (from him to me) so no question of future romance. I enjoyed it and was up for it but now am shy / ashamed.

OP posts:
HildaOg · 15/05/2017 15:31

Pretend it never happened and carry on as normal.

Pinkheart5917 · 15/05/2017 15:34

Why be embarrassed? Sex is honestly nothing to be ashamed of.

Your single (I assume) and wanted sex, you enjoyed it. Nothing wrong what so ever.

I'd just carry on as you did before just go back to the quick "hi" in passing, if you don't want a repeat. If you don't mention it I doubt he will either

Original poster
JovialNickname · 15/05/2017 15:45

I know you're right. It's so funny that when something happens to you your mind blows it up to astronomical proportions! Whereas to any one else I'd say don't sweat it. Yes I am single so no harm done. Just everyone in the house heard I know, plus I was pissed so sort of aggressively pawed at him trying to rip his clothes off, spilled wine all over the bed then passed out face down.

OP posts:
Mari50 · 15/05/2017 15:50

I've done worse, time will pass and you'll not care. Worse things happen at sea (or so they say)

INeedToEat · 15/05/2017 15:55

OP, I apologise - truly I do - but your last post made me laugh so hard my son just came and asked me what I was laughing at. I wasn't however, laughing because I too had done something like that in the past - no not I.

bigmack · 15/05/2017 15:58

Everyone else in the house may have been jealous?
Your last post is very funny! Grin

TheNaze73 · 15/05/2017 16:04

You're making it a big deal. Just move on. Doubt he'll be bothered

blueskyinmarch · 15/05/2017 16:05

You have well cheered me up! I too got very pissed yesterday and have no recollection of coming home, eating a bagel and going to bed. I didn’t have any random sex though. I feel very tame in comparison. I think you now treat this incident like it never happened and revert back to your normal behaviour.

pudding21 · 15/05/2017 17:27

If you enjoyed it, and he was up for it again, would you do it again??

Style it out and be cool :)

WaitingYetAgain · 15/05/2017 17:50

Just act as if nothing happened. You have nothing to be embarrassed of in front of him as it takes two to paw at each other. If you should feel embarrassed then so should he, but I bet he doesn't! He probably won't give it a second thought.

noego · 15/05/2017 18:03

That kind of sex is recreation. Leave it at that.

MissBax · 15/05/2017 19:06

What's the biggie? I take it you're both single so neither have done anything wrong?

category12 · 15/05/2017 19:10

You also have the "beer fear", remember - makes it all seem worse. Best thing is to get through the initial embarrassment and carry on as normal.

theresamustgo · 15/05/2017 19:11

Blimey people are casual round here,....,I a mix feeling old and moralistic! Hope you both took precautions.

Perdyboo · 15/05/2017 19:16

What pudding21 said - head up and be cool!!

DiamondsAreForHeather · 15/05/2017 19:17

I did the same thing when I moved into a house share in my 20's. I was the last one to move in - arriving at 7pm for welcome drinks. By 11pm I was going at it like the clappers with the gorgeous lad from the room next door. Blush

It was a bit embarrassing the next day, but we both got over it and life soon settled into a boring routine. I don't regret it, at all.

LostSight · 15/05/2017 19:25

Could be worse. I did something similar with a client once so I had no choice but to see him again. I expected to be the same, but actually in the event, just made light of it. So I think, just go about as you normally would and if it is referred to, just struggling it off. Maybe you and he will end up being friends and laugh about it.

Good luck.

LostSight · 15/05/2017 19:27
  • Shrugging it off, though perhaps my autocorrect made a Freudian slip...
Dadaist · 15/05/2017 20:01

How do you know he's not hiding too? Sorry OP I don't mean to be mean but you are blowing this out of all proportion! You are single, no one has been hurt And if you don't want a relationship with him, the easiest and best thing to do is to say so, tactfully, if he isn't hiding! No harm done!

Aquamarine1029 · 15/05/2017 20:05

I think you're blowing this way out of proportion. You're both adults so act like one. You had sex. Big deal. Stop hiding and say hello if you have the opportunity. If he mentions it just laugh it off.

sizeofalentil · 15/05/2017 21:06

I slept walked naked into my housemate's room once and asked to see his willy Blush

Five years on, we're married and have 4 children.

Ok, that's a lie - it was excruciating and awkward and it was really embarrassing from that point until he moved out. Grin But I got over, in time.

Question is… Do you want it to be a one off with him, or do you want to turn it in to a FWB situation?

Beelzebop · 16/05/2017 00:51

Fabulous OP, I remember those days........

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