Everything is shit

[HorraceTheOtter]

Everything is shit at the moment. He just threw all the washing over me. I felt shit and my hips hurt so I was lying down because he was meant to be bathing the kids. I told him where the pyjamas were, but I didn't get up to get them for him so he threw it all over me. It's surprisingly humiliating. I feel very lonely.

❤ are you ok ?

I feel a bit crap. My mental health is not great at the moment. Right now it feels much worse. I can't cope with this shit.

I'm not very good at advice but I know where you are coming from. Sending hugs x

Is this a one off or is it a pattern of behaviour? Are you safe?

He sounds like a gobshite.

What a horrible thing to do. Does he often humiliate you?

I'm sorry, Otter

I don't think it's at all surprising you feel humiliated. You have been!

What is your partner normally like? Do you put up with this kind of treatment often?

I hope we can help you.

That is horrendous behaviour on his part. Is this normal for him?

I don't know anymore. I feel humiliated, but I don't know if it's just my head or him. When we argue, he throws things. But I do shout and swear a lot. We had very briefly separated at the start of the year, but reconciled. I don't think I can afford to be single. I have no income. I can't work out what's me and what's him anymore. He says it's all me, I don't think that's true, but I don't actually know any longer.

You two obviously aren't getting on, but he has no right to throw things. He could really hurt you. What was he like when you were separated? Did he seem to want to make this work?

I think you need to try and get some rest and when you feel stronger have a frank discussion on neutral ground about where you go from here. Try Relate as a last-ditch effort.

If he's blaming you 100% for all the problems, it doesn't sound good though.

Are you safe?

I am sure the MNers will help you work through what you need to do next.

Oh, I'm safe apart from flying clothes. He seems to have a thing about throwing washing. I was the one who instigated the split. He was desperate for it not to happen. Indeed, he just decided it wasn't. So we carried on, it was good for a little while, not so much right now.

Glad you are safe, at least, Otter.

If you were the one who instigated the split and he was desperate for it not to happen, he'd better work with you to resolve the issues or it will be happening again!

You say you cannot leave for financial reasons. I hope your partner is not thinking he can treat you how he likes, thinking you just have to stay and suffer.

Do you want the relationship to continue but in a better form? Or do you want out altogether?

Have you made a plan where to go from here? Counselling? Another break? Look at how you could live alone?