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Marriage in crisis. Gutted.

4 replies

Savvyandchips · 13/05/2017 21:38

I'll try and keep this brief....basically been married almost 10 years and together for about 15. We've had a terrible few years with family health worries and work stresses. My oh has just become impossible to live with. He's not the man I met, he's so negative about everything. As mentioned we've had a tough few years so have both needed to support each other but whilst I've proactively sought to improve situations (work) he buries himself in the sand (hates his career) which means he comes home miserable, opens bottle of wine, and plays around on Facebook. I've tried to get him to see sense that life is too short and I'd totally support him if he wanted a career change which meant potentially having to move house due to less money etc. But he just shrugs and carries on with the wine. We argue most days and agree that although we love each other we don't really like each other at the moment. I'm fed up. Spanner in the works is our young son. Would consider marriage counselling or a trial separation but that would obviously involve getting family members involved and am reluctant to do that (the affirmentuined health issues meaning they have enough in without worrying about this). I do think he is depressed but he doesn't agree. Argh this is a ramble. I'm so gutted to be even writing this. Really want marriage to work but I can't see us still together in a year or so. Also gutted for my boy, don't want a broken home. Has anyone been through something similar...what was the end result?

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Sleeperandthespindle · 13/05/2017 21:43

Would he go to counselling with you? I am in a similar situation and DH agreed to counselling. If he hadn't, I would have had to end the marriage.

We had our first session last week and it went okay. I know it will work out for us.

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RunRabbitRunRabbit · 13/05/2017 22:06

The current situation is crap for your son. Very bad lessons being learnt.

He drinks a whole bottle of wine every night? That can't be helping his mental health.

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Savvyandchips · 13/05/2017 22:37

Sleeper, yes we have discussed counselling. It's the logistics of what we do with our son...don't really want to involve relatives. Rabbit ...no not every night but say 4 nights of the week which I think is too much. It is a depressive after all! But if I mention it, I'm 'nagging and it's one of the few joys he has' . Argh.