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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I be brave and end it...scared!

5 replies

Crumpet73 · 07/05/2017 08:18

Hi, I divorced 9 years ago and met a new man. Our relationship has been full of ups and downs..mostly based on his insecure nature (he doesnt like me going out). He also suffers from ME and is constantly negative and seeking approval. Despite these bad traits, he is reliable. As a single mum, I often lack confidence, and think, who would want my baggage, therefore I stick with this relationship.

However, before Xmas, he was messaging a women, nothing overtly sexual, just flirty texts and kisses. When confronted he claimed it was nothing, despite me reminding him that he would go mad if I did the same.

Then on Xmas day I discovered there were lots of pictures of a young girl he works with stored on his phone. They were from WhatsApp, whilst it might have been innocent, I thought otherwise as there were no photos of anyone else, just this girl (who is 25 years younger!).

Last week, I was in our local town (he thought I was in another city that day) and I bumped into him and this young girl. He claims it is totally innocent, they were buying a gift for a colleague at work. I thought otherwise, they were giggling and laughing and then he looked shocked when he saw me. He later said I wish you would have come over and given me a hug!

I have not talked to him since, he claims I am jealous and over-reacting. Yet, I am starting to think I should leave him, I'm just worried about becoming a lonely old woman.

OP posts:
category12 · 07/05/2017 08:27

It's not a choice between being a lonely old woman and being stuck with a cheat(or wannabe cheat), tho - set your bar higher.

Figaro2017 · 07/05/2017 08:30

Erm. With all due respect, he's not exactly bright to be wandering round your home town with his (potential) other woman! Talk about shitting on your own doorstep!

Even if you can prove cheating, rank stupidity must be a good enough reason to get shot of him!

thegirlfromthehill · 07/05/2017 08:33

So sorry to hear of this man's stupidity. You deserve much better than this. Withdraw from him, quietly, and get on with your life without him.

Joysmum · 07/05/2017 08:34

I have lots of male friends but don't keep pictures of them on my phone and I'm open and honest about them with my dh and he has the chance to share the friendship if he wants to.

There's nothing wrong with having friends if the opposite sex but your situation would ring alarm bells to me too, as would his lack of consideration for your feelings or openness.

Heathcliffitsme · 07/05/2017 08:35

How much more evidence do you need that he is seeing someone else?

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