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Relationships

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Original poster

What to buy the STBXH for his birthday from our little boy

28 replies

Polly46219 · 23/04/2017 14:34

So, my shit of a husband who left me 4 months' ago for another woman has his birthday in May and I'm going to have to buy him a present from our 2 year old. What the hell do I get? It's bad enough I have spend any money on him but suppose I'll have to grit my teeth on this one. Any ideas?

OP posts:

StoorieHoose · 23/04/2017 14:36

Would he get something for you on your birthday from your wee boy? If not then you don't get him anything

MitzyLeFrouf · 23/04/2017 14:39

Er, no you don't!

It would be a different matter if your son was say 8 years old and was aware of his dad's birthday and really wanted to get him something, then I can see that gritting your teeth and helping him choose something would be the grown up thing to do but your two year old won't have a clue.

All your ex deserves for his birthday is a really stingy UTI.

category12 · 23/04/2017 14:44

Give 2 yr old a piece of card, some glitter and feathers and stuff, help them stick it onto the card. Scrawl name inside with crayon. Shove in an envelope, and pour some more glitter in the envelope if he'll open it at his house - and Bob is your uncle. Job done.

BernieKosar · 23/04/2017 14:44

Get ds to draw him a picture? I'm thinking this might be a nice thing for your ds to do rather than whether your ex will like it.

Teddy6767 · 23/04/2017 14:45

I wouldn't bother getting him anything as he's behaved so appallingly!
If you really must then just get something minimal like a card and his favourite box of chocolates or something. He really doesn't deserve it though

BernieKosar · 23/04/2017 14:45

oh yes, do the glitter thing

donners312 · 23/04/2017 14:45

We gave my ex a coffee mug - we did leave it in the bathroom for a few days first and everytime we went to the toilet ....

But he is a total bastard!!

(DC did not know BTW)

HecateAntaia · 23/04/2017 14:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

category12 · 23/04/2017 14:49

Seriously. Just make a card with your dc.

I never bought my dh a present from our kids when they were that little, just homemade stuff, so why would you do it for an ex?! When they're older, sure, help them buy something but at 2? Nope.

FoofFighter · 23/04/2017 14:55

Not your responsibility to do that any more. As above, totally different if child is a lot older and asking for your help, but otherwise no, it's upto his new gf/his mum etc to do all that now.

JustSpeakSense · 23/04/2017 14:57

No you do not need to do anything for his birthday, I actually think it's a bit weird if you do.

Bones2017 · 23/04/2017 14:58

I would buy a gift. Doesn't matter what it is. Maybe something small but doing so shows you can be the bigger person in the situation.

iamavodkadrinker · 23/04/2017 15:01

Some cat shit in a box?

VimFuego101 · 23/04/2017 15:05

You don't need to buy him anything. Help your son to make a glitter card as a PP suggested.

Longdistance · 23/04/2017 15:05

I love the glitter idea

lizzyj4 · 23/04/2017 15:09

The glitter idea is perfect

ineedmoreLemonPledge · 23/04/2017 15:37

I saw a card once that said "Happy Birthday to my second favourite parent"

Not PA at all.

I'd never send it but it did make me chuckle.

flibberdy · 23/04/2017 15:40

A super glittery home made card. Plus photo of LO slipped in. Please don't spend cash!

curtainphobic · 23/04/2017 16:51

Agree with Bones. A token gesture, wine / chocs & hand made card. Easily done without emotion. Yes he's been a twat but you can be the better person. Ultimately you're going to have to keep talking to him. If he doesn't return the similar effort on your birthday then you have licence to buy him something comical next time such as a viagra shaped ice cube tray. No idea if that exists - just off to google.....

Stripyhoglets · 23/04/2017 16:56

Card only and when your DS is older then jel him get him a bar of chocolate or something. That is as far as you need to go.

heidiwine · 23/04/2017 17:43

OP my DP always helped his girls buy (or make) something for their mum regardless of how dreadful their relationship was and how awful she was being. His rationale (which I agree with) is that the children shouldn't be exposed to bad feeling between the parents. I agree with him.
Making something can be a pain in the arse - especially if you end up doing the bulk of it. Get a card ask your son to draw inside it and put a photo of your son inside.

Original poster

Polly46219 · 23/04/2017 17:53

Thanks everyone. Think I'll do the handmade card with a TON of glitter and maybe some chocolate so it looks like I'm not a bitter and twisted old witch - even though I feel like shoving a turd through his letter box!! can I just add I've just bought two pairs of jeggings in Sainsburys for £14 each - he's been head to toe in Diesel and Superdry ever since he left. WANKER

OP posts:

TheGoodEnoughWife · 23/04/2017 17:58

Why do you need to show you are not bitter and twisted?!

A home made card at the very most!

This is not your responsibility.

Cakedoesntjudge · 23/04/2017 18:14

My parents had a horrendous divorce when I was growing up and both refused to help me get presents for the other as a child because they hated each other. On the rare occasion they would they always got something crap that they knew the other one would hate. It used to really upset me - their problems were between them but I still loved both of them and it made me feel crap giving them nothing or something I knew they wouldn't like. I was so happy when I was finally old enough to get a job and get them something nicer.

On that basis I have always got exDP something thoughtful but not expensive from DS for Father's Day/Christmas/birthdays. I have never spent over a tenner. ExDP normally forgets or gets me something generic and shit that he knows I won't like but it doesn't really bother me, I don't think it should be tit for tat. I know it's annoying spending your money on a dickhead but you just have to think of it as not being from you but from your DC.

Having said all that, I think at 2 a handmade card done with crafty stuff would be enough

saturdaysaturday · 23/04/2017 18:17

I have some of those sainsbury's jeggings and love them totally off topic

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