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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Mil crossed line with me, I cant stand her but have to live with her

30 replies

CantCopeWithMil · 18/04/2017 11:41

I have emailed some therapists and waiting to hear back from them. Will definalty get some professional help but any other support gratefully received.

MY DM has just died and not a word from Mil, who met her several times, to say " I am sorry for your loss" nothing. In fact she almost treated me with contempt the last time she was here, no recognition of my loss at all.

This is after a long time of being negatively impacted by her, in my life. Older DD does not warm to her at all, younger is OK at the moment but we keep getting constant pressure from FIL to get dc over there. This situation isnt going to go away.

OP posts:

Original poster

CantCopeWithMil · 18/04/2017 13:21

But of course I am being spoken too like the one who is stopping older dd from wanting to go!!!!

Its an infuriating position to be in!
They had problems with DH before he met me - but of course as soon as he did I became the scape goat.

OP posts:

Mu123 · 18/04/2017 13:22

Your mil sounds like my gran except now all her dc recognise her for the twat she is only see her when they visit grandad(usually shes out) or at rare family parties.

My dm's dm recently passed away, after 30 years of my dm being her dil, and her being my grans neighbour for 20 years, she never uttered a word.

My dc will never have anything to do with her thats for sure.

Catinthecorner · 18/04/2017 13:24

I never understand these threads. Just say no thanks and don't visit. If they get upset on the phone say goodbye and hang up.

'Oh, we want the grandchildren to sleep over'
'Sorry, that doesn't work for us'

'We need you to come over and eat the amazing cake MIL made'
'Sorry, that doesn't work for us'

Original poster

CantCopeWithMil · 18/04/2017 13:31

Cat if I had family back up - that would be what we would have done but we have been on our own, with no help at all. Also when we went NC the rest of the family was cut off as well, as well as DH very old granny who we all like.

OP posts:

hottotrotsky · 18/04/2017 14:06

We too are on our own with no help but went NC with toxic in laws and haven't regretted it. Your mil sounds horrific and someone to be avoided. Your dc won't thank you for clinging on for fear of having no one to help - you're already very much on your own. Fuck em, frankly. Nasty people deserve nothing.

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